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My parents are codependent sociopaths. I feel your pain
Yeah that's abuse and there's no way to ever justify your mom's behavior. Just from this you can see how she's a manipulative mentally unwell person and if I were you I'd never let her be alone with your child. You don't need this in your life and if you can't stand up to her because she knows how to manipulate you into your inner child fear state then you need to cut her off and consider therapy to deal with all your past trauma caused by your parents.
Youâre right. This breaks my heart.. I wanted to ask him for a convo to see if I did anything wrong. He was hardly expressive with his emotions and if I did anything wrong he wouldnât tell me
Is this post for real? Sounds very made up lol
Also, having kids. That is a surefire way to make sure that you will always have the other parent in your life till one of you dies.
Tbh I would never have kids with someone without marriage. Too much risk for a man who is willing to commit to lifelong co-parenting and scared of divorce.
Breakup or divorce it will be rough either way.
Right? It wasn't just an idea- OP felt strongly enough about it to start a fight over it.
By all means continue the ego war and one upmanship. Should be great for the marriage
Maybe he's into those 'dub-con' p0rn, and his scenario was oddly specific that I don't believe that he doesn't have 'any' fantasy.
His preferences about physical appearance are also feelings rather than facts and 23 is weirdly specific.
Sir, this is literally cheating. Unless you two agreed mutually to touch your friends (doesnât matter what they identify as), in a sexual way outside the relationship? She cheated.
What if she realizes she is biromantic and bisexual, develops feelings for one of these friends, then keeps getting âdrunkâ as an excuse to fâk a girl?
You still going to think sheâs not cheating because itâs not a guy?
Iâm bisexual but in an ENM partnership with a guy. If we closed and I kissed a girl drunk, it would count as cheating since itâs not my partner but someone else outside the exclusivity of a closed monogamous partnership.
Heâs a good husband, great even. Heâs (what I find) a bit OCD. This apparently is a big trigger for him. I get that itâs gross. Iâm not shrugging that off, but I think we all forget random things thatâs a small regular occurrence in our day to day from time to time. His argument is that I do this too much for that line of thoughtâŚ
Yes, I told him that because I want to feel full again and so when we did it last night I felt a part of me broke, I felt like a part of me was lost. I also said it because I want to see if he truly loves me without it or is he just after sex.
Yo ngl Iâm a bit high so I went innnn, Iâm so sorry this is long af and maybe useless. Please feel free to completely ignore this ?
I was gutted because its like âdamn Iâm not her type that fucking sucksâ
Ah, I gotchu. Totally fair lol no one wants to hear theyâre not their partners type. At the same time, sheâs talking about a fictional character who could never be in competition with you bc youâre real. Donât bring yourself down too much, sheâs dating you. It doesnât matter if youâre not her ideal type, sheâs with you so obviously thereâs something amazing about you that drew her in. Ideal types are stupid to compare yourself to btw, bc theyâre based on fantasy-like/non realistic things, ya know the âperfect guy/girlâ.
Thanks for sharing, definitely helps to gain perspective. You were sharing her replies verbatim but not yours so I was curious if you were hiding something. And ngl you did, very small though.
Her replies werenât solely in response to you saying you were feeling gutted. You got a lil extra stuff going on.
I do agree, ? is a jerk reply. I also agree you couldâve worded your response to that better. Maybe she went into the conversation to talk about something silly aka her type and wasnât expecting your down reply. I get that you mightâve wanted to get some self confidence boost to hear why she choose you as a partner but maybe a different time wouldâve been better.
But I am curious if youâve shown needing for validation before if she went straight to âstop thinking everything is an attack on youâ Especially, âstop thinking everyone is out to get you.â Thought that last part was reallllly out of context from your conversation, unless sheâs harboring some feelings against you.
OR sheâs a dang jerk and putting you down a lot. And your need for seeking validation, makes sense and sheâs tearing down your self confidence. OR yaâll both had an off day in this conversation and no one is right or wrong. Throwing out my thoughts bc Iâm not in your relationship so I donât have the full grasp of it all. Bc maybe stuff could be happening behind the scenes and doesnât or does reflect this one incident.
Youâre allowed to feel however you want to feel. This is a tough one. I donât think itâs a full overreaction (maybe a tad bit with the âwhy are you with me if Iâm not your typeâ even if you meant âwhat made you pick me thenâ) but her replies werenât helping at all. Sorry if my reply was useless but I do wish you the best. If she starts showing signs of dismissing you and giving like an âget over itâ attitude to things, might want to reevaluate if thatâs someone you want to be dating. 6 moths is still young so true characters could be coming out (if anyone was hiding anything good or bad).
I took his response to mean that asking for the expensive restaurant was his idea of a funny joke and the that if you didn't understand that of course it was a joke he wouldn't give you a ride.
I agree with your friends. You arenât writing a letter for closure. Youâre hoping that heâll respond and explain himself. Heâs not going to do that. Write a letter and burn it. Donât send it.
Word for word what I was going to say.
Must be the hive mind đ
Your both adults so I think an actual face to face conversation about it would be the right way to go. Sit down and lay your feelings out and ask him if he wants to put effort into this. But at 30 he should be more than capable to text you.
Ah, sheâs sensing that somethingâs off and she already told me that if we break up again, this time weâre done for good, we wouldnât talk anymore. So breaking up with her is out of the picture, i canât lose her.
She already knows, spare yourself the stress and suffering and find someone who doesn't isolate you. You've broken up before, you were friends during that time and it was goin good but you went back to the relationship. Tell her how she broke her promise to change and it's just like before, and you'd rather stay friends.