Also I just want to say there is a fine line between being concerned and being overbearing. You have to trust your partner. I saw in the comments you said she only recently turned 21 she is out enjoying a big part of society that wasn't open to her before. We have all had nights out that got more wild then expected especially when we first start drinking. Trust who your partner is and if you don't then you are both with the wrong person.
I myself am bi so I get it and I pondered that as well. I’ve been judged poorly for it, but if someone doesn’t want to date me for it then I probably don’t want to date them either. I don’t think it’s necessarily the same either, because if I’m dating a man, women have nothing to do with my relationship (outside of still being attracted to them) since I’m monogamous. When someone is poly or open to being poly, that inherently means they’d be okay with changing the structure of the relationship to include other people.
I have depression and it’s enabled me to slack with hygiene/cleaning sometimes but this is wild to me. I’ve never been so depressed that I can’t get up to piss in a toilet. I get it if he’s in a really dark place but there have to be lines drawn in the sand and standards, even if low, to be upheld. I hope that he gets help and snaps out of it and realizes this is really gross and unacceptable. He doesn’t live or sleep alone, so it’s not just his space.
I'm the asshole for not reading all of your rant, but the first few lines that basically say your boyfriend is emotionally abusive, but you love him anyway was enough. Any kind of abuse is not okay EVER! You have the red flags in front of you, you need to get out of that relationship. Nothing is going to make him change and all the things you love about him, you'll love in the next guy who won't be treating you like shit. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Agreed. I have never been in this position before and it’s much more heartbreaking than I’d ever expected. To have this person I considered a very close friend, rifling through my private things and stealing from me, trashing our home and disappearing when she knows how very hot we worked to give her a fresh start, and knows we would have kept fighting for her if she’d only been honest- well, it’s a huge betrayal. More of her dad than me but yes, of me also. I can only imagine how my husband is feeling. We need to find a way to approach this as a team. I know that during his daughter’s previous struggles his ex was less than supportive and blabbed every issue to anyone who would listen. He is extra sensitive about it because of that experience. But gossip and holding someone accountable are not the same thing.
My mother is just a people pleaser. She wants everyone to get along. But now that you mention, I get more angry at myself. Not only that I got my stuff together and I am financially independent, but I also send them money monthly. Since my father is an alcoholic, he “forgets” to give my mother money to buy groceries. So I took care of that at least so she won't starve. It's not much, but it covers at least 2 weeks of food. If I go no contact, I am not sure if I would have the strength to also cut the food money…I already feel guilty enough
Yeah, in my opinion 20 is too young to get married. You’ve barely experienced adult life. Plus you just wrote a long post about how you don’t wanna get married. Just don’t do it, at least now. Wait until you’re ready and you have done some things you want to do.
155 days ago, your boyfriend was 19, and you were 18. so besides the fact that this post is obviously fake, after reading your posts, both of you are incredibly immature, disloyal, distrusting, and absolutely should not be together, or with anybody else for that matter.
He will only understand when he has consequences to his actions. He gets sex, knowing you’re still faithful to him, that he can talk to others and game and gamble, and that half of your place is paid for. So break up with him, take all of that away. You feel foolish but we all make mistakes. He might never understand but he’ll keep making the same mistakes until he learns his lesson.
It’s true that he’s right that when you’ve broken up, you’re free to do as you please. But he should know better that if he wanted you back to not do it.
Break up with him and leave. That is the only consequence that says this is unrepairable. Bring a new guy home and move on. It’s unrepairable so don’t invest any more into him.
Either each of you takes one of the cats, one takes all or you give them up for adoption (hopefully not). Tell your family and I’m hopeful that they will help you. Tell your landlord the situation and ask how to remove yourself from the lease.
It’s a bad move if you’re only doing it for revenge on him. It’s only going to make him sext even more women and hurt you because he has poor impulse control, he’s deceptive, and he’s petty. If you do it because you’re moving on, make sure you’re not thinking of him when you do it. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference.
Stop being friends with her. When mutual friends ask why you’re not speaking to her tell them the truth.
Also I just want to say there is a fine line between being concerned and being overbearing. You have to trust your partner. I saw in the comments you said she only recently turned 21 she is out enjoying a big part of society that wasn't open to her before. We have all had nights out that got more wild then expected especially when we first start drinking. Trust who your partner is and if you don't then you are both with the wrong person.
Sounds like you are actually the one who “isn't shit”
This is what she said to me. I guess it’s true but a random week night is not the same
I myself am bi so I get it and I pondered that as well. I’ve been judged poorly for it, but if someone doesn’t want to date me for it then I probably don’t want to date them either. I don’t think it’s necessarily the same either, because if I’m dating a man, women have nothing to do with my relationship (outside of still being attracted to them) since I’m monogamous. When someone is poly or open to being poly, that inherently means they’d be okay with changing the structure of the relationship to include other people.
Good to know the trolls aren't taking time off for the holidays.
I have depression and it’s enabled me to slack with hygiene/cleaning sometimes but this is wild to me. I’ve never been so depressed that I can’t get up to piss in a toilet. I get it if he’s in a really dark place but there have to be lines drawn in the sand and standards, even if low, to be upheld. I hope that he gets help and snaps out of it and realizes this is really gross and unacceptable. He doesn’t live or sleep alone, so it’s not just his space.
She PROBABLY DID like you. But you made it very clear you see her only as a sex object and not a person or a romantic interest.
This situation has been stressful for both of us, so I don't know why she's making it worse by telling people about it.
Man, you really learned nothing from the last post, didn't you?
SHE IS WARNING PEOPLE ABOUT YOU.
She's the one suffering. You didn't lose a “freind” you lost a sex toy.
100% of the women you are “friends” with are gonna leave.
I'm the asshole for not reading all of your rant, but the first few lines that basically say your boyfriend is emotionally abusive, but you love him anyway was enough. Any kind of abuse is not okay EVER! You have the red flags in front of you, you need to get out of that relationship. Nothing is going to make him change and all the things you love about him, you'll love in the next guy who won't be treating you like shit. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
This is your life now, it something you have to get through or divorce him.
Trust is very easy to break and so naked to get back.
I'm sure you husband would agree if you fu#ked someone else behind his back.
Then again I'm sure if you did what he did he wouldn't be so willing to try again.
Agreed. I have never been in this position before and it’s much more heartbreaking than I’d ever expected. To have this person I considered a very close friend, rifling through my private things and stealing from me, trashing our home and disappearing when she knows how very hot we worked to give her a fresh start, and knows we would have kept fighting for her if she’d only been honest- well, it’s a huge betrayal. More of her dad than me but yes, of me also. I can only imagine how my husband is feeling. We need to find a way to approach this as a team. I know that during his daughter’s previous struggles his ex was less than supportive and blabbed every issue to anyone who would listen. He is extra sensitive about it because of that experience. But gossip and holding someone accountable are not the same thing.
My mother is just a people pleaser. She wants everyone to get along. But now that you mention, I get more angry at myself. Not only that I got my stuff together and I am financially independent, but I also send them money monthly. Since my father is an alcoholic, he “forgets” to give my mother money to buy groceries. So I took care of that at least so she won't starve. It's not much, but it covers at least 2 weeks of food. If I go no contact, I am not sure if I would have the strength to also cut the food money…I already feel guilty enough
Yeah, in my opinion 20 is too young to get married. You’ve barely experienced adult life. Plus you just wrote a long post about how you don’t wanna get married. Just don’t do it, at least now. Wait until you’re ready and you have done some things you want to do.
155 days ago, your boyfriend was 19, and you were 18. so besides the fact that this post is obviously fake, after reading your posts, both of you are incredibly immature, disloyal, distrusting, and absolutely should not be together, or with anybody else for that matter.
Thanks. It's pretty sad how people think this is healthy behavior.
He will only understand when he has consequences to his actions. He gets sex, knowing you’re still faithful to him, that he can talk to others and game and gamble, and that half of your place is paid for. So break up with him, take all of that away. You feel foolish but we all make mistakes. He might never understand but he’ll keep making the same mistakes until he learns his lesson.
It’s true that he’s right that when you’ve broken up, you’re free to do as you please. But he should know better that if he wanted you back to not do it.
Break up with him and leave. That is the only consequence that says this is unrepairable. Bring a new guy home and move on. It’s unrepairable so don’t invest any more into him.
Either each of you takes one of the cats, one takes all or you give them up for adoption (hopefully not). Tell your family and I’m hopeful that they will help you. Tell your landlord the situation and ask how to remove yourself from the lease.
It’s a bad move if you’re only doing it for revenge on him. It’s only going to make him sext even more women and hurt you because he has poor impulse control, he’s deceptive, and he’s petty. If you do it because you’re moving on, make sure you’re not thinking of him when you do it. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference.