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Sir Marcus of Chaturbate, 22 y.o.
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15 years? He was 25yo and was dating a 18yo and that wasn't questioned until 15 years into the marriage. That's unfortunate. Sorry you had to go through that. It's always the large age gaps….
Let's be clear, she isn't asking your permission she is asking your opinion. Don't fall into the trap of thinking its all about you and what you say she is allowed to do.
They have a long history of being both friends and in a relationship and their lives are connected through that and their mutual friends.
You have been together 2 whole months.
You are allowed to be uncomfortable but when I read your post I saw someone who wants to do right by his girlfriend and be supportive, but when I read the comments I see you're being told how shit it is and how you have to dominate the situation by dictating to her and you're starting to believe that.
Remember that people on reddit aren't your friends and they may not say what is best for you. Everyone comes here with their own baggage and bias. And the posts about women doing x always get more negativity than when men do the same.
My advice is to establish boundaries that allow her to have a friendship with him in group situations but not one on one.
Focus on the fact that she is no longer with him by choice, she doesn't want to be with him; she is with you by choice, she does want to be with you.
Neither of you can erase the past so don't start your new relationship focused on some other guy and what they had/did together.
In time their friendship will fizzle out, but it's been a few months after 6 years of being totally enmeshed. Give her the time and space to do what she needs to to move on.
If being kind to him now is the right thing then she should do that, it won't be the same situation next year. And if you're in it for the long haul then focus on being a great person who respects, trusts and loves his girlfriend. Support her with what she needs and you will be the one she stays with.
Being controlling or manipulative is never ever the way to be.
I see three red flags
She doesn't support your ventures. She's actually looking for other men. Her family is “abusive”
I'd just fly solo and find someone more appropriate for your tastes
I don't think it is related to safety, I think it is related to being on a team
“I’m not comfortable having you around all these penises”
>>I also find myself looking through
No, you are *choosing* to do this. What you do is not do it. You think you want to, then you self-direct and give yourself a stern talking to about how wrong it is to think your honest bf is cheating on you.
If you know how to use modelling software, do as my dad does and make a 3D computer model of the room she can move stuff around in to test out before doing it irl.