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Don't. Just be a friend and it'll become obvious
That's the most cursed title I have read on reddit
Because the OP also wrote:
We had a similar incident several years ago and then also, I ejected them, saying I will not be a verbal punching bag for her.
I am so disappointed that I cannot have an adult relationship with my daughter.
Both of them seem to be repeating a script, and I don't think OP will get the “adult relationship” she wants, until tat cycle is broken.
It's kinda, do you want to be “right” or do you want a solution.
But that's just my opinion.
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Yeah that sound reasonable. I guess i never really gave him that speech at all. It all just kind of slowly happened over years. Maybe it just hitting him.
Have you told her that her actions bother you? People are constantly “growing”. You aren’t the same person you were 5 years ago and neither is she. I wish relationships were like the movies but that isn’t realistic. You aren’t always going to be head over heels for your partner. I went to a marriage conference and it was so helpful and it told us all what you could generally expect in a relationship. They said that marriages are often “tested” every 7 years-ish. For me the stuff that they shared has been pretty accurate and it helped manage my expectations. There are definitely times of joy and where things are great. There are also times where we are having to push through.
The only way to possibly fix this is to have the conversation. BUT if you are done then that also requires a conversation. Either way you don’t want to blindside her with a breakup out of no where when it gets unbearable for you.
Boudoir in a professional studio, by an experienced photographer with a female assistant to help with these things, I get. But, their 23 yo friend buys a camera says lets take naked pictures and a grown, married woman says okay. Hides it from her husband, and meets privately with dude? Then he dresses her and undresses her to his tastes? Suspecting the “boudoir” was this dudes bedroom.
Calling her naive is imo patronizing. She's an adult woman who made a choice that, in most monogamous relationships, would be cheating (“getting hard in front of a friend without spouse's knowledge”). She is not a teen or a kid, she is not in a power dynamic that favors the friend. She's an adult who made a choice. She is an adult who knows the norms of the society she lives in, she is not intellectually impaired. IMO she simply is unfaithful.
There was a seinfeld episode where george's gf couldn't get in contact with him to break up , so she told his friend kramer to tell george and to do it at pomodoro where people go to breakup.
In the world of non-monogamy this is what's called a “one penis policy” (OPP) and it's viewed as highly unethical and homophobic.
The issue here is that he doesn't believe it's possible for you to leave him for another woman. You couldn't possibly prefer a lowly vagina to his Great And Mighty Penis, but if there were a Greater And Mightier Penis there could be a problem. So no other penises for you.
See how that's pretty homophobic?
And what happens if you meet a trans person you're into? Do you have to decide if they're an option based on their genitalia, or their presenting gender?
The reality is that sex is sex no matter what kind of equipment someone's packing. Opening to see people of whatever gender(s) you're attracted to can be awesome if you've both got exceptional communication and conflict resolution skills. He sounds like he's got a long way to go.