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I was in an abusive marriage for a long time. If it's possible, let her know she's welcome to come to your place any time with or without notice.
If she brings up the abuse to you and says she's thinking about leaving, offer to help her come up with a safe exit plan with the help of either live! resources or local domestic violence organizations. Leaving an abuser is dangerous and it can feel overwhelming. I wish I could tell you there's a way to get your friend to realize she should just leave, but abuse really breaks people down mentally and it becomes a cycle that's hard to get out of.
All about you, what can you do for your wife?
At the end of the day, we're all just strangers on the internet who are still processing our own traumas and probably projecting our own shit onto you and your husband.
Have you been completely honest with your family and actual friends? What do they say?
I read that you think his friendships are weird/too close, but the fact that you need to turn to Reddit rather than your friends at a time like this makes me think that maybe your barometer on what constitutes a healthy friendship might not be on point. Just a thought.
have two family
This is exactly like that question Del asked Marty in Ozark. Giving her another chance is a colossal mistake. It's not the first time she cheated on you — it's just the first time you caught her doing it. Life is too short to waste on a person who isn't worthy
Divorce him before you destroy your life
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My mom had nine kids. She became a grandma when she was 43 and still had a three year old. She was tired and barely got a minute to herself. I very rarely asked her to babysit and only for short times and same with my siblings. You don’t owe your daughter babysitting. I do it because I love it and my youngest was 21 when the first grandchild came along so I was ready!
You’ve had a tough go of it. Enjoy your freedom!
Just ask him to take a photo the next time she is in or ask him to text you when they come in next so you can catch her in the act.
If i had to hazard a guess, i would be willing to bet he has cheated more than twice.
get the fuck out of there???