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“So why hasn’t he initiated divorce”
The exact question you asked in your post is directly requesting people to read his mind.
I agree with this. OP you are more than in your right to be disappointed and to for God's sakes stop giving him money if it's causing so much resentment. And you know you don't have to clean up after them right.. u could just stop playing maid! It's not your responsibility!
But his brother is a literal kid. 18yolds are teenagers. Where do u want his brother to go if he kicks him out so u can move in? The kids already lost one home. Should he be homeless?
Your bf is trying to help his blood here. Should he try to do a bit more and make sure he secures rent on his own. Yes! Should his brother maybe get a part time job or atleast clean the house also yes.
But u can't honestly fucking expect him to kick the kid out!
Not sure if it's toxic or not but I will say in a healthy relationship the other person is not upset about you spending time working (since that sport earns you money) or when you spend time with your family.
Comment Rule 1: All comments must be on topic and focus on the OP, in good faith. Derailing arguments, fights, and moral whataboutism is not allowed. Advice given must be good, ethical advice. Remember, the goal is to help your fellow human.