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Fair enough.
In your post this stuck out
“find other guy with money that can help you with all your needs”.
So the money issue is really just the tip of the iceberg, right?! You guys are having some other troubles and things are boiling over. It might be time you both go speak with someone.
this feels like a perfect scenario for a relationship counselor to help you talk through. it may take a little research to find one who specializes in talks about money, but honestly, it shouldn't. money trouble is a leading contributor to the breakdown of ltrs.
honestly couldn’t think of anything I’d rather spend my money on than helping my partner feel more like the woman she is.
and, if this statement is true, you may also just try to consider this money well spent and work on building boundaries and healthy spending habits together. it sounds like a lot of money, but it also sounds like the money isn't as important as being respected as financial partners. so that may be a good place to focus.
lastly, i'll add a piece of advice that i was given in case you also find it helpful. only lend money to loved ones that you're comfortable not getting back. even if you call it a loan, make sure it's not so much that it would wreck the relationship if you never got it back. people don't ask me for money often (maybe this is why!), but it's always been a good gut check when i have been asked.
This. OP, please read this.
Why settle for anything less than to which you're legally entitled?
If the roles were reversed, you'd be ordered to pay. She has a moral and financial obligation to support your daughter.
In her mind she has already done it. This doesn't look good for you.
Normal husband behaviour. We all do it lady. Just chill and tell him not too anymore. Yeah
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Man, so sorry. This is like the biggest slap in the face possible. She used and abused you.
I don’t see how this relationship comes back from this. She totally disregarded you as a person for 2.5 years. She never felt guilty on her own, only when you reached YOUR breaking point did she admit to it. She would have gone on for 5 more years if she could have.
Hi! I’m in a large age gap relationship (larger than OP). You made some great points. Age gap relationships are not for everyone. You really need to have a complete understanding of who you are.
At 25, OP May have had the life experiences needed for that relationship. I certainly did. And I knew who I was and what I wanted. I wasn’t looking for a partner, it just happened.
OP definitely needs to be on the same page as her boyfriend. My SO and I have different thought processes, but we arrive at the same conclusion almost every time. There are some things we have different opinions on, but nothing that’s a deal breaker or red flag.
The way he treats her is key. My SO has never tried to persuade me. They have never talked down to me. They listen to my opinion and respond accordingly. They have never twisted my words, or took my words out of context. They really truly respect me, and I respect them.
Not being financially stable is a tough one. When I met my SO he was financially stable. Then COVID happened and their credit was ruined and they got behind on bills.
Overall, this is the best relationship I have ever been in. I’ve been in relationships with guy my age, and I could never connect with them. We grew up in the same time, but had completely different expectations and views/plans on life. My SO and I grew up in completely different generations, yet I understand him better than people my age (besides some of his jokes lol). And whatever I don’t understand I ask him to explain, and vice versa.
Idk, thought I’d give some perspective on large age gap relationships. I never thought I’d be in one, I was not planning on entering a relationship when I met my SO (this almost sounds like he talked me into it, which he didn’t. It was 100% my decision.)
Oh, also, not all men who end up with a younger woman are searching for that. My SO was in a relationship with a woman older than him when we met, he’s always dated around his age until me.
I agree with this! being in love with someone based on talking live! does not always translate to being in love with someone in person. most likely you wouldn't work in person
Do you have friends or family in the area whom you can go to?
If yes, go do it. If you're going to have a job starting 1/23, it's in a week, you can try and tell these people you will start contributing as soon as you get your first paycheck.
The issue is if you have burned bridges in the past with these people or if they're toxic or both.
It sounds that you've been unemployed for awhile since you have no saving, no $, so she's aware of this, her treatment against you is likely due to anger and frustration and resentment. She doesn't have to blow up over chicken nugget sauce, but she does because she's angry over other things that has been happening in the relationship. Her anger and overreaction is NOT about chicken nugget sauce.
This situation as a whole, is not healthy for either of you.
Don't hesitate to go to a shelter if need be, for the night. You don't want things to escalate.
Men are told by society that they should be able to financially provide for their spouse. Since your BF can’t do that, he is feeling inadequate
Even if you have $1million and he has $1million, and you can both be financially independent, he’s still going to want to financially provide for you like buying you gifts or treating you to dinner, because that’s what he believes a real boyfriend should do
The fact that he can’t provide for you is a problem he needs to overcome on his own
All the other problems you listed relate back to his insecurity about his inability to provide for you. So therapy may help him
Well, socks on is feet and in his mouth, so def double extra not gay
Shrooms could go bad if you are in a negative or anxious state. E releases the “love chemical” and the “happy chemical” in the brain so no matter how you feel prior, during the trip you will feel… well ecstasy.
I don't think there's much danger of him picking up the slack, but I wouldn't promise something I have no intention of delivering.
Get a DNA test remove all doubt.
That would make sense. Her job has been really stressful lately, they walk all over her and treat her very badly and we’ve been trying to find her a new job. There hasn’t been a whole lot of time for self care because life has been hitting us hot lately (car problems, money problems, not having enough money to even feed ourselves a lot of the time) when she was on her mom’s insurance she was taking medication but when that ran out we couldn’t afford it anymore. The credit card is in her name.