I would say “no” because she's still young and so are you. If someone wants to have kids with you, you've got to wait 5-10 years before having kids with that person you're with
Honestly, my heart aches for you. It sounds like you have been emotionally beaten to a pulp by this girl. Even if, by some miracle, you two are able to move past the Bar Confession of ‘22, don’t you think she’ll become obsessed with the next harmless incident and start this wild accusatory cycle all over again? You’ve truly done nothing wrong. It’s obvious you care for this person but, I think you’d experience an overwhelming sense of relief if you cut ties with her. You deserve to have a fun, social college experience (and life), dictated by your own head and heart.
Unfortunately, it's very possible he will. Better hope he never gets into substances.
Anecdotal evidence, but I have a friend who's son is now 20. Issues throughout childhood, tantrums as a toddler. Unlike you, she recognized the issues and he's been in treatment for like 15 years of various programs therapy and treatment.
In the last 3 years I've known this woman, he's pushed her down the stairs, broken in to their house, kicked down her bedroom door, and came at her with a knife
This is no lt mentioning the things done AT 13, which also included smashing her phone so she couldn't call 911, beating her, and it was only her apply watch that saved her.
Depending on how small the mother is, your son will soon overpower her.
Also, the abuser I'm speaking of does extend this to his relationships. Beaten, coerced sex, forced drug use.
It's easy to say “my son isn't like that”. But until teenagehood my friend's son was good. He had issues. But he didn't want them. Once he learned he can just take whatever he wants, he did.
It's nude to hear. It's hot for me to see. But I have witnessed it. And deep down, I know he is still good. I know he's at war with himself and hates how angry he is. And it doesn't change the fact he hurts people around him and beings destruction.
Get your son into therapy. There are free assessment clinics for at risk youth. There are options. Take them
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I'm going to be extremely frank here: you can't help him. He needs professional help. You can't rescue someone from their mental health issues.
This is going to be hot to hear but the best thing you can do is let him figure himself out. His behavior towards you is abusive and manipulative and not loving, even if he does love you. Love is not enough, it doesn't magically heal serious mental health issues and trauma. You can't love him out of this. You can't support him out of this.
You know the saying that you can't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm? In this case, not only are you letting yourself on fire, but he's doing his best to burn you down.
I've worked with people with substance abuse disorders in the past. Sometimes those in relationships with each other. And of course it's really hard. Sometimes they both decide to get treatment together and they make it through. But they have to spend some time apart really focusing on treatment. The ones that actually make it on the other end take at least a year or two apart. But most end up back together that's okay. I think you should probably do something like that. And you should start today.
Learn from them as well to try and not repeat them as well :/
I would say “no” because she's still young and so are you. If someone wants to have kids with you, you've got to wait 5-10 years before having kids with that person you're with
Honestly, my heart aches for you. It sounds like you have been emotionally beaten to a pulp by this girl. Even if, by some miracle, you two are able to move past the Bar Confession of ‘22, don’t you think she’ll become obsessed with the next harmless incident and start this wild accusatory cycle all over again? You’ve truly done nothing wrong. It’s obvious you care for this person but, I think you’d experience an overwhelming sense of relief if you cut ties with her. You deserve to have a fun, social college experience (and life), dictated by your own head and heart.
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I know when I'm bored, its because I'm being boring!
Unfortunately, it's very possible he will. Better hope he never gets into substances.
Anecdotal evidence, but I have a friend who's son is now 20. Issues throughout childhood, tantrums as a toddler. Unlike you, she recognized the issues and he's been in treatment for like 15 years of various programs therapy and treatment.
In the last 3 years I've known this woman, he's pushed her down the stairs, broken in to their house, kicked down her bedroom door, and came at her with a knife
This is no lt mentioning the things done AT 13, which also included smashing her phone so she couldn't call 911, beating her, and it was only her apply watch that saved her.
Depending on how small the mother is, your son will soon overpower her.
Also, the abuser I'm speaking of does extend this to his relationships. Beaten, coerced sex, forced drug use.
It's easy to say “my son isn't like that”. But until teenagehood my friend's son was good. He had issues. But he didn't want them. Once he learned he can just take whatever he wants, he did.
It's nude to hear. It's hot for me to see. But I have witnessed it. And deep down, I know he is still good. I know he's at war with himself and hates how angry he is. And it doesn't change the fact he hurts people around him and beings destruction.
Get your son into therapy. There are free assessment clinics for at risk youth. There are options. Take them
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I mean he knows it’s not true but it’s still hilarious right /s
I don’t even know how to decipher this.
Get a clue about people’s boundaries or get better at making up these nonsense stories.
If this is real, she clearly doesn’t want to fix your weird friendship. Just leave her alone.
Dump her. Let him have her.
I'm going to be extremely frank here: you can't help him. He needs professional help. You can't rescue someone from their mental health issues.
This is going to be hot to hear but the best thing you can do is let him figure himself out. His behavior towards you is abusive and manipulative and not loving, even if he does love you. Love is not enough, it doesn't magically heal serious mental health issues and trauma. You can't love him out of this. You can't support him out of this.
You know the saying that you can't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm? In this case, not only are you letting yourself on fire, but he's doing his best to burn you down.
I've worked with people with substance abuse disorders in the past. Sometimes those in relationships with each other. And of course it's really hard. Sometimes they both decide to get treatment together and they make it through. But they have to spend some time apart really focusing on treatment. The ones that actually make it on the other end take at least a year or two apart. But most end up back together that's okay. I think you should probably do something like that. And you should start today.