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Sofia, 19 y.o.
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Your bf was being insensitive. I'm sorry that happened. If I had a partner like that, I probably wouldn't wanna be with them anymore because that would show me that they can't be supportive of me when I need it.
She probably still has a boyfriend. She notices you because you keep noticing her. That doesn't mean she likes you. Women tend to keep an eye on guys who seem too interested. It's a self-preservation tactic.
Do NOT “find her in person” and talk to her. You mention nothing in your post about having any other conversations with her, so cornering her to confess your crush would just be creepy.
By the way, if you believe things happen for a reason, the fact you haven't been seeing her around may well be the universe telling you to back off and look elsewhere.
I'm sorry for this pain. Dating, among other things, is a test run.
It hurts but you need to recognize you can't control her. And ultimatums (no guy friend) don't work long term.
Because you're out of town and she works with him you can't compete in day to day entertainment contest. Just be yourself.
This situation is an excellent test of her ability to be in a long term committed relationship.
She will always work with men.
If her commitment to you is so weak then it's better for you to find out now.
After marriage and kids you're stuck.
Most women are faithful. If she fails this test, the world is full of wonderful people that are reliable and head over heels for you.
So does your GF live! with her mom or her roommate? Are you a virgin who wants to wait until marriage, or do you want to have sex? Do you own a home or are you living with a roommate?
“We are better friends than lovers” … but, you’ve never had sex? How would you know? Have you even communicated any of this to her? She can’t read your mind. If she knows you have sexual PTSD, she is likely refraining from anything sexual with you because of this.
It sounds like you have communicated some of your issues to her and she has ignored them. Both of you need to set boundaries. I also recommend you stop disrespecting her by ogling over your roommate, start there.
If neither of you are happy, can’t communicate, and can’t respect each other’s boundaries, why are you together?