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Break up and walk away.
She BIG mad the only shot her man child of a son had at giving her grand kids is gone. She’s gonna have to start taking him to the park again to find a new GF. And no hate to you OP, I dated the same man children in my 20s, hell I married one. Rarely do age gaps work out when you’re this young TBH. I always dated 9-15 years older than me until I met my husband after my first marriage. There is something about being able to better vet your partner from a maturity standpoint when you’re both around the same age. Also, power and financial resources are typically not so skewed, and fuck ups are easier to spot.
Women are taught over and over to not date older guys because they'll be manipulated or abused.
I want to live in your world. I was certainly never taught that. Most relationships I knew besides my own parents had age gaps of 5+ years. It was definitely normalized. My first boyfriend was 23 when I was 18 and no one said a peep about the age difference. Even now, my 19 year old cousin is in a relationship with a 29 year old man and no one cares. “Girls mature faster than boys” is a common refrain.
I had a coworker when I was 16 whose mom really tried to push her to seduce our 32 year old manager because he could give her a good life.
I'm glad you grew up in a community where age gaps are recognized as a red flag. But please understand that your experience is not universal. Many women don't get that.
I saw her age and was like, “Yup. The maturity matches their biological age. 19. A TEENAGER! Sounds right.”
Op, what did you expect???
You are dating someone whose immature and whose age matches it too.
If you don’t want to deal with that? Breakup and go find someone who is MORE MATURE for their age and actually wouldn’t care about the body pillow.
I had an ex who told me the same thing. My weight fluctuated here and there during the relationship, but there was one point where I lost noticeable weight due to a horrible bout of gastro. After I regained the weight and then some, he mentioned how I was much more attractive during that period of weight loss (even though I was sick at that time!). I jokingly grabbed my belly and he was so repulsed by it. God forbid I ever had a baby with him, I can't imagine how he would take it. It fucks with you. As women we grow up in a world that instils in us that our value lies in our weight and appearance. When our partners reaffirm this belief system, it can lead us further down a path of unworthiness and undesirability. It's not worth the stress of worrying that he will not love you if you gain weight, and worse still, if you start to lose weight to appease him. You are worth so much more than just your weight and physical appearance. It's very hot enough navigating body image through the media and throwaway comments from friends and family. You deserve to be with a life partner who sees your worth beyond your size.
The craziest thing is as well, she's been sleeping with his friend who also works there. Just can't keep her hands off everyone clearly.
Ummm….how does she take half of the money when you contribute more?? If you’re her fiancé…why can’t you say ”our” car? You did nothing wrong based on what I’ve read. Now, if she’s this mad, maybe you commented about keeping track of money previously?? But im stuck on her taking half when she doesn’t contribute half. That’s stealing…at this point larceny or grand larceny…that’s the problem…since she wants to be technical about things.
I think it's worth some self-reflection on why you suggested this in the first place.
HOWEVER, let's play out what would've happened if you had done this with a spouse who respected and cared for you:
He would've spent a long time discussing it with you, making sure it was something you both wanted to pursue. You two would've discussed boundaries and concerns in detail. And the minute you changed your mind, that would've been the end of it.
The difference between that and what your husband did signals to me that there were some profound issues in the marriage already, and your husband was not treating you with love or even basic respect.
I am thinking it had to be a little more than “a kiss”, if this guy thought he had a shot at sex.