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I am in the US, is there a way to spot ppl like that here? If you’re unsure I understand. The ones who go for an arranged marriage… are they truly happy?
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Hmmm. My first thought is to simply ‘play the game’ for the tuition money if that’s the most important thing.
As much as you probably don’t want to, can you push the wedding back to later in 2024? Then you can accidentally lose his mom’s invite? You can elope super secretly maybe in April, then do the big thing later in the year.
Others may not agree with me in regards to ‘playing the game’ to get the tuition money. Can he apply for any scholarships or grants?
Also, I did ROTC for 2 years instead of 4. If he still wants to, he can get his tuition paid for that way if he can stretch his college years to 2 years. He can then commission into the reserves, guard or active duty afterwards. His mom is already toxic, so if he wants to follow his dream, he can. The big damage with his mom is already done and likely won’t be fixed.
This is on her. She’s got to talk to her brother and father about being respectful and taking her choices seriously. All you can do is treat her well, be respectful even when they try to instigate, and definitely lean in to mom liking you. Mom being fed up with dad and brother is what will get things changed the fastest.
You've got to decide if you want to be his mother the rest of your life.
Well I’m glad godmother Vivian is happy with how everything turned out. That’s a load off my mind. I was really worried.
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Posts must contain a title, description, TLDR, & basic info like ages, genders, relationship length
All posts must contain a title, a description of the problem, a TLDR and basic information such as ages, genders, relationship length. One or two line posts or those simply posing a question to the community are not allowed.
You have no idea how much I needed this message. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You are so right!?
I’d follow up around 1 if he doesn’t reply. Then I’d carry on with your life
You can leave a marriage for any reason, such as falling out of love with your partner. In your situation you have many, MANY reasons to leave him. Others have already done a great job of listing them (as have you) so I'm not going to bother doing so, but safe to say, you'd be doing yourself and your children a huge disservice by staying.
I would highly recommend therapy if you have access and can afford it. Not just for you, but for the children as well. That's a lot of abuse to unpack and a therapist can help with that.
As someone who has called her step dad Dad since I was about 5/6, I would be totally devastated if he had ever said something like that to me and our relationship would have been different. Even though my mother and him are not together anymore he would NEVER tell me he wasn’t my dad and won’t be. That’s devastating.
For all your anger and wishing, it doesn’t sound like she respects you or your efforts. She’s staying because you are a safe choice.
Maybe you should have some marriage counselling together?
You are with someone that also wants someone else. It’s not really a stable situation for you.