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u/lenelenemachine, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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Right. It’s just as likely that the wife is misrepresenting what the therapist said.
You are condoning his behaviour by keeping quiet. Would you want your friends to have the same policy if it was you been abused like that? What if this was your child? And please don't downgrade verbal abuse, it hurts just as much as physical, sometimes even more.
It's ok to not be ok with your partner using porn, following IG models or whatever. Even if there is no porn addiction and it's not causing any issues on their part.
It may not be a big deal for him, but it is for you.
Take some time to order your thoughts and then talk to him, try to at least find a middle ground, both of you will have to compromise if you want the relationship to work since it seems you have different views on this. And if it's a major boundary for you, then I'm afraid your current boyfriend and you may not be compatible.