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Model from: us
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1984-07-31
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
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Because he thinks she can't get away now, so it doesn't matter if she knows.
Not cheating. But the saved picture of the girl he knows is concerning.
Oh wow, what he has done is a huge violation of trust and also illegal if you are in the US and I imagine other countries have similar laws. Honestly, the right thing to do would be to report him to the police and his ex. Or, if you have reason to believe that he might do something to get revenge on you for reporting him, you can always make a fake FB or Insta account and message her the info urging her to go to the police. I am back and forth on this one because while I feel in my heart going to the police is right, I also know that you might be fearful of what he might do to retaliate. Either way, someone has got to notify the police, whether it is her, or you. The ex might even be aware that he has done this since she blocked him on everything… clearly he did something to her to make her want to distance herself from him completely.
As far as you snooping through his phone. Yes, it is not a good habit to be in. Everyone deserves privacy. However, what he did is much much worse than snooping through a phone so he has no good argument here. So if you did come out and confront him, don't let him try to put the blame on you, he is the criminal here. Also, you said that you sensed something was up and otherwise had not had a habit of going through his phone… so he must have said or done something that caused a red flag to go up. He is in the wrong here, not you.
Whatever you decide to do, I really hope you break up with this guy. He is a creep and likely to do the same thing to you one day.
I came to make this exact suggestion. Do not bring this up to her yet. I love that you trust each other so much, it's actually refreshing in this sub. But people that are the “sweetest” and the “most trustworthy” can act completely out of character for many reasons. Could this dude have her confused with someone else? Sure, absolutely. I realize when you have a relationship based on trust and understanding, which is how you describe yours and that's awesome you have that, its almost impossible to entertain the thought of your spouse doing anything to put that in jeopardy. Maybe if you do what this comment is suggesting, but create the mindset that you'll have him call you when he thinks she's there so you can stop by just to show him he's wrong and it's not her, and then he'll stop bothering you with this nonsense. If you think of it that way, it may make you a bit less uneasy about it. But let's say he's right and it IS her, if you even mention it to her before checking she will go into defense mode, which means turning it back on you for not trusting her, getting to make herself the victim and putting you at fault. She'll wipe her phone, and end the meetups leaving you with no proof and a shattered marriage which will be blamed on you…This is probably jarring to even think about your wife doing something like this due to the unwavering trust you have in her, but on the OFF chance it is her, if you bring this to her prematurely and without concrete evidence either way, you're doing yourself a huge disservice. If you want to keep your blinders on and refuse to believe that even the most amazing people make mistakes, that's up to you.
How is it vetting if she's instantly throwing OP into a father role with no breaks or some form of easing him into it over time?
Oh, she still kept talking after he pulled the gun? Yikes. I didn't catch that part.
The most important thing here is to not get your expectations up. They are basically 4 strangers who’s only connection to you is a man whom some may not want to be reminded of. Just be very cautious. Ask yourself what you hope to get out of contacting them and then decide if the risk of rejection is worth it. If you “need” to do this for yourself. Don’t do it because your mother says you should. Only if you feel in your gut that you need to know more about them. Expect nothing in return so you won’t be hurt and proceed with caution.
Are you guys still having sex
It’s not healthy to demand someone doesn’t go somewhere with their friends. The sentence where you said he told me he wouldn’t go out without you, so you got back together with him is quite manipulative. He’s entitled to have a life and go out with his friends, although maybe not every weekend. It boils down to whether your trust him or not, and if you don’t, it’s pointless.