If she tells she is not attracted to you, don't force it as you may have major problems down the road. Right now you are both in the honeymoon phase, yes you make her laugh, yes you may nake her smile, but what happens when all those feelings vanish? She is going to be hit very hard with the reality she doesn't find you attractive.
Now you obviously can try your luck and see what happens, but don't be surprised if it falls apart. In my opinion continue working on yourself and date someone who actually is attracted to you.
She's checking out from the relationship and ending it but calling it a break. If she doesn't see value in understanding why she doesn't want to talk to you, then that says she doesn't really want the type of relationship you want.
yep, definitely bad. sounds almost like he's negging you (keeping you insecure on purpose). Tell him how these comments make you feel and that he needs to stop. If he doesnt or is combative about it, well, you'll know he's a jerk and not worth your time.
I don’t blame you for ending your marriage over this. You buried your feelings to support her. I commend you for that. But what she did was cruel mentally. To be trying for a baby and succeed then for her to say she changed her mind has to have been shocking and incredibly heartbreaking. So much so I question her monogamy. Once you decide to have a baby it’s very rare to get pregnant and say never mind just like that.
Think of it biologically. Our purpose as the Male counterpart of the species is basically to fuck anything. We get jealous because in the back of our head, another man near your girlfriend/wife is a threat, and that's how the Male AND Female mind is wired, just vice versa. Yes, he might be gay, but it's still a hardwired thought in the back of our minds.
I don't know how trust is in their relationship, but I can tell the guy is an overthinker, and I am too so I can give you half decent insight about it. If you have ever had an issue where you couldn't trust someone due to childhood traumas, issues and everything of the sort, it can leach into a relationship, although it's a bad thing most of the time. Personally, I think it makes sense this bothers him. The time they have been together and the bond they have however, are the only determining factors into how bothered he should be.
Like if you were dating someone for a month or two, and they said they were going to go hangout with a gay/lesbian friend, you'd probably be a little hesitant. Whereas, if you've been with the person for multiple years and had a foundation of good trust, it wouldn't be too big of a deal. I'm not here for trouble, I'm just saying why it makes sense he's bothered by this. The reason guys are typically more insecure, is because we don't have many opportunities to have a girlfriend.
Girls can leave a guy for another guy,(however I'm not saying that for all girls) and leave the guy insecure and broken. I'm not saying this doesn't happen the other way around, because it's a problem with both genders, but traditionally, it's harder on guys to find a partner than it is for a girl to find one
Have you met him, have you observed them together? And what did she say when you asked her why it is so damn important for her to have him there that she apparently prioritizes his presence over your comfort?
Like, if you see them together and she treats him like a bro now, no sexual tension, no flirting, and if she maybe really wants him there because he's a great dancer and knows how to get the party going, and she also wants to fix him up with her cousin Sheila, that would be one thing.
If she still acts flirty with him and it's your impression she still has the hots for him somehow, and your wedding would be an opportunity for her to get drunk close to him… though if you trust her that little, why even marry her.
Hmm, so the question really is: “what about him makes you so uncomfortable that you don't want him there?” If you two discuss those two questions together, hopefully you'll be able to figure it out.
Take your bags, go to your parents and don't go back.
He wants a break after one argument? Either he's interested in someone else or there's more to this than just one argument (depending on the context of the argument which you haven't elaborated on).
Save your dignity and leave. If after a month he wants you back tell him no. He wanted a break and he got one. A permanent one.
Thank you this actually is really nice to hear. I feel like I want to make it work but I only want to try one more time and I feel like a conversation like this would help
Having a right to it, sure I'm on board with that. You have the right to post that as well. But let's not pretend that either situation isn't a breach of trust. The fact that it needs to be hidden is proof of that. Both situations show you don't trust your partner, and when trust is gone like that, the relationship as a whole goes with it.
I’m sure you’ve already communicated with him so there’s no used suggesting this and you appear to have put up boundaries which he keeps stepping over. I agree with everyone else, I think you should go back to wherever you were so you may be exhausted but you’ll at least be happy not feeling like a single mother with a husband. I am from a culture where family is EVERYTHING no matter what so it’s going to be a tough bond to break without you taking drastic action
Follow your intuition bruh
Thank you for your help
If she tells she is not attracted to you, don't force it as you may have major problems down the road. Right now you are both in the honeymoon phase, yes you make her laugh, yes you may nake her smile, but what happens when all those feelings vanish? She is going to be hit very hard with the reality she doesn't find you attractive.
Now you obviously can try your luck and see what happens, but don't be surprised if it falls apart. In my opinion continue working on yourself and date someone who actually is attracted to you.
She's checking out from the relationship and ending it but calling it a break. If she doesn't see value in understanding why she doesn't want to talk to you, then that says she doesn't really want the type of relationship you want.
yep, definitely bad. sounds almost like he's negging you (keeping you insecure on purpose). Tell him how these comments make you feel and that he needs to stop. If he doesnt or is combative about it, well, you'll know he's a jerk and not worth your time.
I don’t blame you for ending your marriage over this. You buried your feelings to support her. I commend you for that. But what she did was cruel mentally. To be trying for a baby and succeed then for her to say she changed her mind has to have been shocking and incredibly heartbreaking. So much so I question her monogamy. Once you decide to have a baby it’s very rare to get pregnant and say never mind just like that.
Think of it biologically. Our purpose as the Male counterpart of the species is basically to fuck anything. We get jealous because in the back of our head, another man near your girlfriend/wife is a threat, and that's how the Male AND Female mind is wired, just vice versa. Yes, he might be gay, but it's still a hardwired thought in the back of our minds.
I don't know how trust is in their relationship, but I can tell the guy is an overthinker, and I am too so I can give you half decent insight about it. If you have ever had an issue where you couldn't trust someone due to childhood traumas, issues and everything of the sort, it can leach into a relationship, although it's a bad thing most of the time. Personally, I think it makes sense this bothers him. The time they have been together and the bond they have however, are the only determining factors into how bothered he should be.
Like if you were dating someone for a month or two, and they said they were going to go hangout with a gay/lesbian friend, you'd probably be a little hesitant. Whereas, if you've been with the person for multiple years and had a foundation of good trust, it wouldn't be too big of a deal. I'm not here for trouble, I'm just saying why it makes sense he's bothered by this. The reason guys are typically more insecure, is because we don't have many opportunities to have a girlfriend.
Girls can leave a guy for another guy,(however I'm not saying that for all girls) and leave the guy insecure and broken. I'm not saying this doesn't happen the other way around, because it's a problem with both genders, but traditionally, it's harder on guys to find a partner than it is for a girl to find one
Have you met him, have you observed them together? And what did she say when you asked her why it is so damn important for her to have him there that she apparently prioritizes his presence over your comfort?
Like, if you see them together and she treats him like a bro now, no sexual tension, no flirting, and if she maybe really wants him there because he's a great dancer and knows how to get the party going, and she also wants to fix him up with her cousin Sheila, that would be one thing.
If she still acts flirty with him and it's your impression she still has the hots for him somehow, and your wedding would be an opportunity for her to get drunk close to him… though if you trust her that little, why even marry her.
Hmm, so the question really is: “what about him makes you so uncomfortable that you don't want him there?” If you two discuss those two questions together, hopefully you'll be able to figure it out.
The entitlement though. Definitely weird.
What is dming?
Take your bags, go to your parents and don't go back.
He wants a break after one argument? Either he's interested in someone else or there's more to this than just one argument (depending on the context of the argument which you haven't elaborated on).
Save your dignity and leave. If after a month he wants you back tell him no. He wanted a break and he got one. A permanent one.
Good luck OP
It's time to follow your statement that cheating is a deal breaker for you. Otherwise, neither he will respect you, nor you will respect yourself.
Thank you this actually is really nice to hear. I feel like I want to make it work but I only want to try one more time and I feel like a conversation like this would help
Having a right to it, sure I'm on board with that. You have the right to post that as well. But let's not pretend that either situation isn't a breach of trust. The fact that it needs to be hidden is proof of that. Both situations show you don't trust your partner, and when trust is gone like that, the relationship as a whole goes with it.
So actually you can’t break up because you’re married? Or who is this woman? I’m confused because you had posts about cheating on your wife?
I’m sure you’ve already communicated with him so there’s no used suggesting this and you appear to have put up boundaries which he keeps stepping over. I agree with everyone else, I think you should go back to wherever you were so you may be exhausted but you’ll at least be happy not feeling like a single mother with a husband. I am from a culture where family is EVERYTHING no matter what so it’s going to be a tough bond to break without you taking drastic action