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I understand that you just want to hide. You were physically assaulted. You were sexually assaulted.
But. You did nothing wrong. You are the victim. And you truly aren’t safe. You could easily end up as a homicide victim. So, please, do something to keep yourself safe.
Police. Domestic violence shelter. A friend. Family. Take action now to make yourself safe. Police would be the best choice. Please.
Your safety matters. We care.
I thought I was bad when I asked my boyfriend to not take a TCS that would take him away for 6+ months halfway across the world. An unexpected work trip for only a few days? I feel better about myself already lol.
Oh for Gods sake, are you TRYING to sabotage this? The woman changed her mind and now you're shooting her down everytime she suggests something? How much longer are you going to hold this over her?
That being said, Yes, it does seem fast to want to advertise you as her b/f. That is a bigger red flag than the change of heart. How about you tell her to give it a few more weeks and then the two of you can reconsider what you should call one another and how or why it should be broadcast.
As new as this relationship is I’d say it’s not worth pursuing further. The fact that it started out with him being Christian and kind of wanting to follow those more traditional values but immediately flipped and not only ignored his original convictions but went to some weird fucking places (golden showers, really? For a virgin?!) says to me you haven’t even begun to see some of the manipulative weird issues this guy is going to have in store for you. At the end of the day though, you’ve set a boundary and he’s being a whiny dick about it instead of respecting you or your decisions. You’re not invested enough to continue to try and maintain what’s already a pretty red flaggy relationship after such a short amount of time. Toss this one and get someone who will respect you as a person and not some sort of sex doll he can use as a personal fetish machine.
Please please take this piece of advice. Do not move in with him while this is going on. This is a really bad decision. He needs to make this decision to get better on his own and I’m quite concerned at the way you asked how you can get through to him/force him to realize what he’s doing to himself. You can’t. That’s a VERY naked thing to understand but you can’t. He has to figure that out. He has to decide he doesn’t want it. Don’t make it easier for him by cleaning up his mess. Certainly don’t buy him alcohol, he can do that if he chooses and don’t go out with him if that includes having drinks or throw parties or invite friends over if it involves drinking BUT if he chooses to do that, that’s up to him. I’m not saying you should be his mom and nag him and make him stop that’s his choice, I’m saying you should not participate.
Boundaries are you deciding what YOU will and won’t do. Please please take care of yourself. You can still love him without moving in to his mess and hopefully he will figure this out.
Talk to her parents. Tell them you can't be with her anymore but the last time you tried to leave her, she harmed herself and they need to keep an eye on her. Then talk to your girlfriend about ending the relationship.
Update: I can now see new comments that have been posted, so could people just re-post their comments or something if they wouldn't mind? I'm really sorry!
I don’t think you should have to do some kind of “coming out” as a compulsive liar. I used to lie a fair amount too as I felt that it made my life smoother if I bent the truth because then I could make myself look better or keep myself out of trouble (I had horrible self-esteem/anxiety so lying let me avoid judgment, what I was most afraid of).
Since my early 20s, I realized that wasn’t sustainable and through therapy and medication, have been able to work on my anxiety and self-esteem. Now I don’t lie. And it feels good. I can’t undo anything I once did but I’ve resolved to be truthful going forward.
If you had lies that really hurt people, you should take responsibility for those. But having to take on the moniker of “compulsive liar” when you’re trying to change seems like a step backwards.
Ask your boyfriend if he can help you identify who may have been hurt, so you can address those personally, but ask him to trust that you are working on it so you don’t need to damage your reputation with every single person in your life. And then, the hardest part that is an absolute necessity is ACTUALLY WORKING ON IT. Talk to a therapist or journal about where this came from, what it provides for you, and what damage it does to you and loved ones. These insights will help you recognize when you’re about to lie in the moment and will help you adjust your response to the truth. Good luck!
I have another nude truth for you, as an attorney. This dog is dangerous. If it attacks again, with you knowing of this prior aggression, you are going to get sued and potentially lose everything. Because you knew of the dog’s history, you could, depending on your jurisdiction, also be criminally liable.
A cidercade sounds awesome, honestly. Interesting location, laid back atmosphere, I think it's a good choice for an activity. Who doesn't like arcade games?
I'll give it a go, hopefully my chronic foot in mouth stays away, thank you for your advice, it is truly appreciated
A considerate boyfriend would have driven to yours with dinner already picked up then let you sleep. This guy is a selfish, childish idiot who cares nothing for your safety or well-being. Not much of a loss here if you move on.
This is an overly jealous man. Insecure a f.
We talked if she'd ever want to use it on me before we got it, she said she wouldn't want to. She's not much of a top, we switch out sometimes. But she always prefer when I play a dominant role. She sometimes likes to, so I will ask again now that we have it and see if that'll get her to be more comfortable with it, thank you!
Individuals are smart, people are dumb.