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Please don’t marry her brother, save yourself.
I wouldn't. There are often times when a second chance is worth it. Cheating or abuse are not those times.
I've already broken up with him just from reading this! He's NOT a monogamous man and he will never be. His best friend is his FWB and they won't stop and you will have to worry about her. You aren't overreacting and you have everything to worry about. No way in hell would I want to be in a relationship with him, he wants other people he wants to explore beyond 3somes, he has a female best friend and they are fuck buddies (but you don't have to worry) explore and express yourself, I hope you have been tested for STD'S. Doesn't sound like a very good partner to me, he sounds like he's addicted to sex and will explore anything and everyone. Sorry my opinion, I wouldn't be together with him.
You are a completely worthless parent. Your son is also an “actual person with feelings,” since you seem to be forgetting that part. Enabling your husband's abuse like this makes you just as abusive.
I grew up with a narcissist mother who abused me, so I understand your fear. I truly do.
I can never trust what my mother says or does. She terrifies me. She ruined me. I have a fuckton of issues, both mental and physical, from her abuse. Personally, if I found out my partner had NPD, I'd likely dump them in a heartbeat. I'm probably an asshole for saying that, but I get where you're coming from.
That being said, you need to calm down. You talk about divorce and how he's a monster (though apparently he wasn't until he told you despite his behavior not having been changed) and that you need to keep your children away from him. Jesus Christ, lady. I'll admit, I'm “NPD-phobic” and I need to work through that, but your husband is mentally ill, not a monster.
Monsters are made through their actions. It's not my mother's fault that she's sick. It's her fault for abusing me. Your husband (as far as we know) hasn't done monstrous things. According to your comment, he lies constantly, and him withholding his diagnosis is a huge problem. But to tear apart your family over just a diagnosis is selfish.
Your kids will think Mom went crazy. They'll resent you for tearing them away from their dad. Divorce is hard for kids. Obviously, if he starts being abusive, then leaving is the better option, but if you divorce your husband on what's basically a whim, you'll be throwing your children's mental well-being down the toilet.
There are issues in your marriage, but this isn't how you fix them. Can you sit in on his therapy appointment? Couple's counseling? Again, I don't like people with NPD, but Jesus. The worst thing he's done is hid his diagnosis. He could've been worried you'd divorce him.
“My boyfriend treats me like property”
“He's abusive and threatened to beat me”
“His views are outdated and he's insecure.”
“My friends are worried about my well-being.”
“Should I stay with him?” Lol Get some self respect. You're young and have a lot to learn, but learn this lesson early and never forget it. It won't be the end of the world to leave this dude. If you're really into his type, there are a million other assholes waiting to control someone.
They lost their connections because he has his plug hanging at another power outlet.
My guess is he is in love with you but he knows you are not interested in him romantically. Or you have done something he disapproves of and he no longer sees you in a good light.
My husband and I have mostly different hobbies. You both have a lot of the same hobbies, I feel like they are typical guy hobbies, nothing wrong with that. We however both love to travel so that is one hobby we both really enjoy. Doesn’t have to be a crazy location, even just a day trip to a new town is nice.
I would suggest finding one hobby that you both enjoy. It can be a new hobby for the both of you.
Did her mother see any difference in her behaviour?
Your husband sounds like a disrespectful, superficial asshole. You don't need to put up with that nonsense.
You see a therapist because you are scared of this man so I would say don’t fight it. Why would you? It hasn’t worked before. Your whole post is nothing but how he is bad to you. So again, why would you want to fight for that?