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Thanks. I appreciate your take on this!
It read real casual. I'm sorry if I sound rude but with all due respect you sound like you need some tough reality on this. Take stock of the relationship, take stock of the fact of what you've said after four months of dating to the internet.
My point is this doesn't sound healthy. It doesn't sound safe either. And it really doesn't sound wise to continue to pursue this. Whatever you do good luck, but if you start anything off about a relationship with “four months, and serious codependency issues” that's your red flag. In the future that should be all you need to know about your situation to know you need to back off for your own safety. Whether it's physical safety or monetary. Please be safe op.
Don’t get married. Not only he doesn’t seem to be the bright man for you, you’re emotionally involved with someone else. Personally I think 2 years is too short to know if that’s the person you want to marry. People love to hide who they truly are for some odd reason.
Look up Narcissistic abuse. The cycle is: Love bombing, enmeshing, abuse.
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I already know he’s a liar because his nurse wife would not be allowed to be in the operating room while he’s the patient.
Op, are you really checked out or do you want to save the marriage and you don't know how?
I'm assuming you asked her to marry you and she said yes right? Of all the women in the world why did you ask her? Did she get pregnant with your “kid” and you were pressured into the marriage? Did you love her or did you tolerate her? Do you value whT she brings to the table or do you think she does nothing worth valuing?
I earn 50k more than my husband. To me, it has always been our money. We discuss medium & large purchases beforehand with each other. For instance, yesterday, I sent him a text that stated my favorite boot manufacturer was having a sale, and I wanted to purchase 2 pairs, then gave him the amount .. $500. He sent back a quick thumbs up, then followed up with a text that told me to use the debit card and not .my personal credit card. For me, this shows that I'm including him in not only the household budget but also personal items that are more than average everyday spending amounts. Him telling me to use the debit card shows that he's good with me treating myself and using the household budget.
I do not expect him to take on more of the grunt work because I earn more. We work together because we are equals. I'm in a career that is highly stressful. He's not. He understands that and gives me the downtime that I sometimes need.
We have a habit of sitting down together once a week and taking a few minutes to discuss bills, plans, and goals. But, things have a tendency to come up like a great boot sale.
Ah honey, the only loser here is the person judging others for what they do on their free time.
Im 23f and always prefer lube. Bodies change. It shows he actually listens to your body. I consider that a compliment. Its okay, you don't have to be defensive. And if you're that concerned I reccomend an OBGYN to ease your nerves.
You know honestly if you don't want to publicize your relationship at work then he needs to respect your wishes.
Your friend is a bad person. Not just to date, he is an abusive POS and you are totally fine with his behavior. You say that if he would hit her you would do something, but I don't believe you. I'm guessing you would still defend him with “well she deserved it/it wasn't that bad/he didn't mean to break her arm but you know he's a really nice guy”
You mean go to court and explain how you never told this man you delivered his children and blocked him from contacting you and then ask to be backpaid for it? Let me know how that goes.
Listening to the people in this thread is going to land you in legal trouble and estranged from your kids. Get a lawyer, because you’re probably going to get your ass handed to you in court. You can’t just steal a guy’s kids because he didn’t immediately believe that he was responsible for his cheating ex’s pregnancy.
You screwed over your ex, so if that’s what you were trying to do, mission accomplished.
Your Bf is a snake and your ex is better off going no contact with him.
If you're in your 30s and get along with teenagers/people in their very early 20s, it's time for some introspection my dude. People our age usually view people that age as kids, not potential dates.
Odds are you don't love the man. You are either codependent, afraid to leave for some reason or you find him physically attractive. Or.. worst case. Some part of you believes what he says or doesn't care because it may not impact you physically right now.
Either way, racism, misogyny, and just all around being an edge lord aren't “cute” personality ticks like some people treat them. They aren't “bad behavior.” They are deeply revealing flaws in the character and substance of a person.
If you aren't trolling, then you already know the obvious answer is to leave and you shouldn't need the internet to tell you at 24 years old in 2023… post events that happened in 2020.