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Disagree.
When you tell somebody you are flattered, it shatters whatever impression they had that there was some kind of connection.
Those moments when they thought your eyes locked? You didn't notice.
The little gestures that they thought were your way of noticing them? Accidents.
Saying you are not interested doesn't convince a person who has delusions about your relationship. Saying that you are flattered means you weren't even expecting it, and those little signals didn't happen.
I am nearly 6 years clean from all opiates.
So what I am gonna say is gonna be sobering but true. You have to get some real amounts of clean time under your belt. New Years feels like yesterday to me and you have broken her trust. It took me ages to get back trust with people and even now, I know with my family they don't take me as seriously anymore.
I would recommend going to one session of AA and seeing if it is for you. I did NA for about 6 months when I was fresh but the constant talking about drugs in group just made me think about pills. So I stopped going and now. My fiance helps keep me accountable and honestly, I don't think much on it anymore.
If AA isn't helpful, try looking for a therapist with experience in substance abuse. Unfortunately alcohol is such an important part of many social events it is harder to ignore than, say, vicodin.
Good luck, my friend, and give her time.
You did exactly the right thing, with bonus points for being open to therapy. She rejected therapy, refused to compromise or take responsibility, and became angry at you when you tried to communicate with her. That’s the opposite of what a guy like you deserves.
You sound wonderful and worthy. I bet if you stay in individual therapy as you date in the future, it will help steer you toward the woman who is worthy of you and will bring you the happiness you deserve.
Don’t look back. Don’t read her emails or messages. Block her. And keep looking ahead.
Look through the phone. Check GPS, texts, Google history, or other apps.