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thank you for that. I said something similar in another comment but it means a lot more coming from someone with family from OPs region
Hopefully he cleans you out when you divorce
If she wants kids one day, she’ll probably never have them if she gets another IUD. She’s already 35 so she would need to start trying for a baby very soon if she wants one at all. If you feel ready to be a father and she says she decided she doesn’t want kids, then you have some decisions to make.
You have been asking this question in one way, shape or form for several months now and you have been given a multitude of answers. What more can any of us say?
In and of itself, not a problem.
People can and do have best friends of different genders and no issues happen in their relationships.
So you need to look at how she behaves around him, when she is talking about him, what she says to him and about him, what her messages to him and from him are like etc. this will tell you what her feelings about him are.
You also need to meet this friend, so that you can get a feel for him, and how they interact etc.
You also need to look into yourself, and see if it is something that you can be comfortable with. Just because nothing is happening, doesn’t mean that it’s just going to be easy for you to process etc.
Ask her why she's still with a man who she seems to not like being around. That will open up the conversation to let her tell you if they're working on a divorce or if she's not going to leave him. And if she's not going to leave him, please have the self respect to not be the side piece.
Ask her why she's still with a man who she seems to not like being around. That will open up the conversation to let her tell you if they're working on a divorce or if she's not going to leave him. And if she's not going to leave him, please have the self respect to not be the side piece.
It sounds like he’s using you. That sucks. A lot. But it’s not your fault and you do not have to deal with that. Cut your losses and find someone who treats you with respect.
I dont think this is a thing necessarily. If I go on a good date I text them as soon as I get home and say I had a great time.
But maybe do that instead of trying to set up a second date right away. That can feel a bit pushy if there isn't some flirting in between.
Girl for the love of god get your shit together. You are gonna have 4 kids and you’re 19. And the thing you’re worried about is if your baby dad is cheating because of someone else and their drama? You need to get past drama you’re a mother, you either trust him or you don’t. Maybe ask for some proof but JFC don’t waste too much time and energy on this. I’d suggest what you DO do is make sure you get yourself an education, get yourself a job and focus on you and your (soon to be) 4 kids. And get some contraceptives!!!!
He was keeping option open. This means he was keeping you around, Just in case.
I would suggest blocking him, going no contact. Start living your best life and move forward. Find that special someone who values you for who you are.
You deserve it
Good I think that’s the best thing for you. You’re really young and have a good chance right now to meet many many people. You haven’t even met all the people who are going to love you someday. It’s better to make new friends, have new experiences and like invest in any passion you might have. I say all this also because I would take her ‘maybe’ as a ‘no’. I think if she chose you, she’d miss him, and there is a chance she may miss you if you choose yourself but again, I think this girl needs to be in counseling and should work on herself first before choosing you. Sometimes that comes in the form of her exploring a relationship with him and learning they aren’t for each other, maybe then you guys could have something together. I think she likes the attention she gets from you, but if it could turn platonic right now and be solely a friendship based on support and kindness I think you’re doing her a great service.
Hi OP I just wanted to say I’m sorry people have been downvoting and criticising you, it seems like a lot of people on here are suggesting things that would only really work in Western countries, and lots of people are just telling you to deal it which is incredibly unhelpful advice. As a woman, I also can’t help but think that the replies would be very different if the gender roles were reversed.
Is there anyway you could agree to marry her so that your Dad will pay for tuition, but try and delay the marriage as much as possible, ideally until your studies are over? And have you considered how bringing up children might change your Dad’s mindset? I’m guessing that your parents will be expecting children sometime down the line, so you could try saying that you will agree to marry her but only when you are older and in more of a position to have kids? You could say that you want to wait until you have a job and are financially secure, and that you worry that having to look after a child could affect your studies. Lots of contraception like the pill doesn’t work as well in women who are obese so there’s a chance that if you marry her you could end up with children. Is this something your Dad is prepared for?
This idea is probably too crazy to work, but as a last resort, you could lie about being infertile? You can say that you got yourself tested for whatever reason, maybe you found out about a clinical trial that offered free testing and it interested you as a future physician and you unfortunately found out you were highly unlikely to be able to have children. This would hopefully make her and her family hesitant about marrying you. If your dad is still hesitant you can say that you need to complete your studies as a physician so you can get a well paying job and afford treatment for it. Then later down the line when you’re qualified as a physician and financially independent, you can miraculously find out that your infertility wasn’t as bad as the doctors first thought and you can have kids after all, but by then your Dad won’t be able to force you to marry her.
Truama Bond.
It's the phrase used for what you described… More or less.
Can someone explain to me how dad is a pedophile. They are both of majority age to do whatever. I will agree that dad at almost 60 chasing a skirt 40 years younger is a stretch, but what of the girl agreeing to this arrangement?
Wow, this is controlling behaviour and if you stay it will get worse. I am so sorry you are in this position, but I think he is testing how far he can push his controlling behaviour.
What an insecure boy
OP makes more than he does and is the breadwinner, he’s working his job because the health insurance is better through his job than it is hers.
She also says that she used to work 70 hours last year while he worked 40 hours and yet she was still the one fully responsible for everything with the kids, house, his messes, etc with no help from him.
He needs to take a day off work and clean the entire house on his own.
Did you dump her or did she dump you?