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Languages: en,ru
Birth Date: 2002-12-07
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
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As a daughter of a really surgical grade clean mother who would clean my room after I'd done it because it was never good enough, I feel this answer in my soul!
The extremes go both ways, and it's so damaging!
My home is a mess. Don't get me wrong. It's not dirty, but I don't have a routine for tidying, and stuff doesn't have a “place” because I always feel it's placed in the wrong spot. It's not crazy because I do have regular “move shit around” sessions, and I've never had visitors (other than my mother) complain that it's a mess. Yes, I've asked several friends. They all say it looks like we live! in the house, and its ordinary for a family to have stuff lying around. But there are always areas of the house that look like I've just stacked stuff there to get it out of my way (which is the truth).
My parents' home looks like they are expecting a photographer from an interior designer to stop by or some heart surgeon to suddenly need their dining room for some life-saving heroics. Even their woodshed has countable rows, and their pantry is organised and best by date-rotated and dust free.
And I'm never going to online up to that because I don't feel like I'm ever going to understand what I'm supposed to do. I know it's because my mother always used to tell me what a slob I was and that my cleaning wasn't up to standard, but she never actually told me or taught me what exactly I was doing wrong.
At the age of 45, I've decided to accept a happy medium, tidy a bit every day, and accept that sometimes there will be dustbunnies.
At what point do you set your own boundaries with this dude? Friend or not of your SO, regardless if she doesn't believe you, you have to say some point make it clear that you won't be taking his shit anymore. A start would be stop trying to be nice to this guy at all.
Could you imagine if he actually came to Japan with you? Why would you even want to be fake friends with someone like that?
Stop playing the nice guy here and trying to make him like you. Be assertive and up front and have a serious sit down talk with your girl because it doesn't sound like you've taken a very hot stance on this guy with her.
Ignore John. You keep being cousin to cousin.