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Baggage just leave
This isn't cute behavior like she probably thinks this is. Sometimes I, very sparingly and jokingly, do this to my bf when he doesn't have a deadline. It's short, playful, and always mutual. Never ever would I dream of getting in the way of work or other obligations.
This is, at best, wildly immature and a huge red flag.
This seems like last resort situation. This guy is abusing your son. And if you don't stop it, your other son may come to see his brother the same way your husband does because your husband favors him. Then you'll have your husband and your son abusing the other son. My husband's father was very abusive to him and his older brother. His older brother was abusive to him. It was bad, verbal and physical abuse. He has ptsd. Please get your kids out of there. Your husband is showing the favored son how to treat the other.
Yeah, this. Wanting to manipulate her into using when she doesn't want to is…not a great look. Let her go!
I would say that age difference explains about 80% of it. They’re kids. They don’t want grownup conversations. I mean, just try to opine something really harsh and critical but against something they all agree is shit. They’ll love it.