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Look however you want. He might just be trying to be complimentary but it's your own body. No one owns you
The worst part is that he’s literally my neighbor 2 doors down?
I mean, we all know what’s going to happen, right? Just based on what you’ve written you’ve got one foot out the door, because the coworker is pursuing you and comparing that against a day to day relationship is always going to be unfair.
So you’re going to talk yourself into breaking up, and you’ll give the toxic coworker a shot, and if I were a betting man I’d say you’ll be sick of her in about a month. She’s very aware of what she’s doing, and your best interests are not at the heart of any of it. She’ll love bomb you for a bit, but once you’ve broken up with your current girlfriend pretty much all the power shifts to her, and that’s when you’ll see the real her. But that’ll take a while.
The best option is to completely ditch the coworker for 6 months and see what’s actually happening in your relationship. If you decide to break up, give it 3 months before you even think about the coworker. There’s aaaabsolutely no reason to rush when you’re 19, and if the coworker really does want you for you then she’ll be there when you’ve finished
But that takes a lot of thought and discipline to execute, and we all know that’s not going to happen, right? ?‍♂️
Now you know your best friend is not your friend and has been jealous of your girlfriend for the duration. Whether your girlfriend forgives you or not, your best friend is never going to be ok with anybody you date. You might have to lose them both and start over. Your next best friend should be male.
Maybe my bf didn’t like I had any contact with this old coworker.
…did this coworker talk to the boyfriend subsequently? That's what I'm thinking here.
I’m like that too. I get overwhelmed and need space. Just talk to her. Tell her your feelings
Personally, this would be a non starter for me. If it isn't for you, it's best to lay down nude boundaries now, otherwise it'll get much worse. The last person that tried that with with my son and my co-parenting relationship with my son's mom is now an ex, because that was merely a symptom of bigger problems that came later.
Whole comment section is a certified Reddit moment
“playing a role” ?
Tell her I said she was full of shit.
If someone is on Reddit, they have enough resources to shower.
What does it mean. He has you questioning things about yourself? How did he get you to do that?
Religious and patriarchal control both stem from insecurity. Jealousy stems from insecurity. Being a virign and wanting a virgin stems from VARIOUS insecurities surrounding sex entirely.
Ignorance about a woman's body and thinking that is somehow a detriment to you is still insecurity my dude.
Like…please get therapy instead of a partner.
Ummm where
Your gf doesn't get to make decisions about what you do to secure your future. She does get to decide that she doesn't want to marry someone in the military. Totally valid. Go your separate ways. You will forever regret picking a burrito shop manager job over the Navy just so you can stay with this person. Also, do not get married to the first person you meet once you are in. Stay single.
I wouldn't bother, i know it's hard. You have anger and want to cause pain. You need to focus on stopping her taking advantage of you. Don't commit anymore of your emotional time. It's going to suck my friend, you will be ok. Don't drink, don try let your emotions control you. Good luck
Oh thank god, a sane comment. I genuinely thought I must have misread the original post. His first instinct on being told that his fianceé might have slept with someone twenty years ago was to find the guy and beat his ass.
That's rather terrifying.
Tell her you’d glad to leave her if SHE doesn’t love you. If she loves you, ask why she’s unhappy?
You’re happy with her no matter what she’s fat, thin, lose a limb, deaf/blind, etc? She needs to hear that she’s lucky to have you.
If you break up and that turns out to be the wrong decision, you’ll be unhappy. If you stay together and that turns out to be the wrong decision, you and she and an innocent child will be unhappy.
Don’t have kids if you aren’t absolutely sure you want kids.
Well if you want someone with distinctly different set of experience then you need to date someone your own age or older and from a different background. Not saying there’s anything wrong with your age gap, but if you’ve beet dating atleast 2 years – a 22yo probably doesn’t have enough life experience to know what they like and don’t. Infact if anything I think she specifically dated you because she wants to learn things from you
I also don’t understand the gatekeeping of certain things. If you want to learn French (for example) and she want to learn French too then it sounds like a great shared hobby to have for a couple. Most couples complain that they don’t have much in common
Absolutely not. I would love him anyway, because he's so much more than a face, and there's nothing that could happen to his appearance that would change my feelings when he's still the amazing dude who takes care of his family and works hot and is unfailingly kind and gentle. He's awesome, and no matter what happens to his appearance he's beautiful to me because he's mine
Guess I was asking because honestly it was something I never thought about until my ex brought up that his friends preceded me. It seemed weird. Honestly I never ranked people until I had to right now. So after thought, I realized his decision made sense if he viewed me so low. I would never do that to my partner you know. I appreciate your answer so much. Thank you.
I think you made the right call. It’s better if you just stay away from those kind of people.
How about a situation where you guys aren't set in interrogation mode. Table between you, face to face, pressure, time is of the essence, blank stares and painful small talk.
Try a activity date.
Tell her, but be prepared for her to not believe you and be ready to move on.
In the moment that she made that comment, why didn’t you say “that’s all spoken for, I just haven’t made the payment yet.”??
I think you just need to bring it up “babe, when you made that comment about my bank balance, i felt kind of weird. That money I’m saving is all spoken for already. So it’s not like I actually have that much disposable income to play with. Just wanted to clear that up because I’m still happy to pay for the majority of our dates if it’s in my budget but I do in fact have a budget.”
Girl, do not feel bad about wanting to break up with him. This isn’t shallow stuff, this is basic hygiene that he refuses to do for himself.
For his sake tell him all the things you shared here so he knows EXACTLY how unacceptable all his bad habits are. This breakup may be the wake-up call he needs to snap some sense into him.
She failed the wife test. Do you think her behaviour is a good example for your future children?