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So I have been trying to write for several minutes now, I was 18 and was convinced into a relationship with a guy over 30. Then I fell in love with another one. What this people are saying in this comments is absolutely right. Get out of there before it's too late.
You might think you are stuck, but if you have no kids yet, there is no reason to be stuck. Do everything it takes. Give him excuses to not meet. Intentionally meet with friends and make plans. Get 2 jobs if you can, or change your schedule to never be available. I would even sell the car, even if you buy another one a month later. Eventually you'll see he is only there because there is something he can gain $$$ with this relationship, not because of love.
This isn't going to work out. You need to leave her asap.
It angers me that she's getting tatted while you're covering most of the bills and got the fucking nerve to make a fuss about you buying a new phone with your own damn money. IT'S YOUR MONEY and you're the one PAYING THE BILLS.
This is a deal breaker. You're going to be in more debt being in a relationship with her.
If the husband is like me. I only dated women I saw potential in. Most of them left after the “fun” was over. Meaning, once the cute and exciting aspects of a new relationship dissipated, and the “serious” aspects began to come up. OP was serious enough to stick around past the “honeymoon” phase, and was in it for the long haul. That can be one of the most important things to a man.
Drop this clown and find someone who will love you the way you are and not ask you to put your health at risk for his pleasure. I would never ask or do this to my partner as I love her the way she is and wouldn’t want to put her at risk for something so trivial.
Talk to your girlfriend. Both of you guys delete all social media until the baby is born. It’ll be the easiest way to make this thing that seems like it’s everywhere disappear.
Why the heck would someone want the world to see their end trails? Has to be something mental
You know more than any of us could know what's up, but I'm just curious. How did he end up in a motel room with his ex, and how is he claiming he didn't do anything?
I understand, and I agree like the other person who commented first, it will mostly just tend to get worse. This sounds really difficult and I completely understand this, as I notice some of the behaviours I also personally tend to do (not in an extrme way of course) but it reminded me when I'd also try to like text once an hour and expect a response during my partners night outs, or I'd be subconsciously looking over at his phone most of the time he takes it out (not in a worried or jealous way but just for fun, but I understand from his side he felt like he couldnt breathe), some of the examples that I have done and of course I am in a much better place now when it comes to those little insecure things. I used to be much worse a year or two ago, but currently in this break stage where we both are just working on ourselves, but it's mostly for myself as I had a part to play in that. I am also someone who tends to be needy, clingy, a little too overbearing sometimes, I didnt always respect his space and want for alone time as my brain took that as “oh he doesn't wanna be with anymore?” kinda thing. Those things just slowly pushed him away and over time, but I am grateful for myself that I've noticed those patterns in which I wish I could change, as I regret them deeply. Of course we can't change the past, all I can do is work on present and future. But I have been doing a lot better when it comes to those things, like I put my full trust in him as he has not done a single thing that would cause distrust, and not lied about any actions.
Sorry, well what I was trying to say is, I guess thank you for the post as it helps me to hear from another male's perspective how you mentioned about feeling trapped and not feeling like you have the freedom to be relaxed. I can absolutely relate to some of the points, and I would agree that it doesn't sound healthy and it is best to break it off to give yourself time to regain that energy tank and doing things by yourself and just with mates without having the feel of needing to be morally obliged, and also let her work on herself and really reflect on those things that she may have caused you to feel that way. Then see how a few months go, try it out first before getting into a relationship again, and see how you feel? Observe whether she has changed or improved, if not then well I'm not sure if it's worth having it another go? It's really a matter of whether she is strong or willing enough to work on herself to keep the relationship alive, and whether she truly loves you to keep it working.
I really wish you the best my dude, and my chats are always open if you wanna rant or got any questions!! 🙂 I'm in a similar boat.
It's financial abuse when your fiance lies about the amount and gets defensive about it.
It's not financial abuse when you decide to disentangle your joint accounts due to the lying.
You need to seriously reconsider this engagement. Healthy spouses do not lie about amounts landed. Nor do they get upset when called out on discrepencies of what was agreed.
If I were you, I'd leave the relationship. Lying is a huge redflag in my opinion, but an even bigger ed flag is the entitlement a person feels to spend someone elses money without their consent. But at the very least you should go in for and try out couples therapy. If he refuses you have your answer.
Best of luck.