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Dude just on-line your life. You don’t know for sure it’s yours and her husband thinks it’s his. And it is his you didn’t raise the kid. I feel like you’ll blow up a whole family if you throw that out. Now if Lauren comes to you and says it’s yours.. well then maybe that’s another discussion.
If OP does meet up I suggest doing it with grandma as witnesses and do it somewhere where you can easily and safely leave if necessary
Will talking to her enrich your life? If not, you don't owe it to her to talk to her.
If you decide you want to, for whatever reason (to make amends, morbid curiosity, to tear into her for being a shit mother), you need to find out what she wants to talk about first, make sure it's a public place you feel safe, and have your grandmother/someone for support there. And regardless of whatever it is about, tell her if you see Brad there or even get a hint that he might be there, you will get up and walk away.
I understand, or maybe I don’t since I’ve never felt this way about others while in a committed relationship, that it’s normal to feel attracted to others while in a relationship- but when you share these thoughts to a friend in a way that you’re nurturing it and enjoying it while your partner is sleeping in the other room. What does this say about you as a person?
Being in a committed relationship doesn't change who or what a person finds attractive. The commitment impacts whether or not that person acts on those feelings. If a person never experiences attraction while in a relationship they are either ace and don't experience those feelings at all, or they are so anxious that they only have room to experience anxiety.
Casually discussing the attractiveness of say Chris Hemsworth with a friend isn't nurturing anything. Telling a friend that you think Margot Robbie is nude isn't enjoying anything either.
Your person has chosen you. You have to trust that they find you attractive, otherwise why are they in a monogamous sexual romantic relationship with you?
Yes of course it's normal. Just because you are in a relationship you aren't struck blind to other people. That's just being human.
It's how you handle those attractions/feelings within the rules of your relationship is what matters.
Oh and this'll blow your mind: not everyone is monogamous. Look up polyamory.
Ya you sound like a shitty partner. She told you her problem and you said she was wrong??
Definitely don’t get married.
Oh, dear OP… so mature yet so naïve…
I mean, you have a right to be upset. He did literally nothing but basically throw money at you. He made no effort to come up with a plan and put that on you. You came up with an activity (the brewery) and his attention was divided and he was distracted while there. You ordered your own dinner to take home and once home, you ordered your own gift. The only thing he did is pay (I'm assuming). So yeah, the simplest, lowest-effort thing he could do was to open his wallet. (Please tell me he opened his wallet. Even if he paid from shared marital funds. If you had to open your wallet…)
I would wait a few days for you to be able to come from a place that is less emotion-driven (although you have every right to be emotional about it) and then sit him down and tell him you'd like to discuss your birthday further. Outline what I said above. That he made literally zero effort and didn't, in fact, do a single thing for you on your birthday (other than possibly open his wallet??) Let him know that you want him to take some time to consider why he thought that was okay and that you'll revisit it in a week. Then revisit it in a week. Be calm but let him know that it is really quite shocking to you that doing something nice for you did not even register with him and that you need him to examine why that is as it has really got you questioning your worth to him.
Is she not being honest with you, with herself? What reason do you have to doubt her? Is she misleading you on purpose? Is her aim a sex less marriage?
I’m glad you read this comment OP. I mean this kindly, but reading this as a Jew, all I could think was, wow she knows nothing about Judaism. I find that atheists raised in predominantly Christian societies tend to see the world as religion=Christianity, and apply their narrow understanding onto all religions. That said, it’s on your bf that he never took the time to talk to you about his connection to Judaism and how important it is to him.
Personally, I agree that asking you to convert is a lot, and most rabbis would probably talk you out of it considering that you’re not actually personally interested. Circumcising a baby is also something that’s tough if you aren’t both on the same page. However, it sounds like you two need to sit down and talk about what Judaism and all of these things mean to him and why he hasn’t spoken up about it before.
My breasts have drastically changed with two kids. They are also changing as I age. My partner told me he loves my breasts. For a long time, I didn't believe him. Huge and milk-engorged, or smaller and more floopy… He pays the exact same attention. I've been thicker and therefore fuller, and I've also been borderline emaciated (illness related). Same attention. Wouldn't we all prefer to have a say in how our bodies look? Of course! But we don't. And I can tell you, testicles are just as prone to gravity as breasts, so take comfort in that
I would tell her, “Goodbye.”