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From what I can read there's a basic fundamental difference when it comes to sex and pleasure. 23M, you sound more monogamous while 21F, you sound more poly.
Thing is, 21F, you seem to give the impression you have a lot of baggage, which may have led to promiscuity. Or, you just might be open sexually and like to experience novelty. Maybe a bit of both. No judgement either way. If you think your sexuality has something to do with your past, perhaps therapy if you can get it.
However, if you simply like experiencing various partners, then I think the compatibility will get you in the end. 23M, you might never be 100% sure she's OK to be monogamous and 21F, you might feel resentful of a less exciting life. Sexual compatibility is as important as compatibility in all important areas of life. You won't have an easy time of it if you're both just very different people. Good luck, I hope it works out for you both.
Maybe it would be better to not open the purse at all till you're married? Seems you've made choices you're now growing resentful over. You're making unit purchases before you're a unit with someone you've known to be unsatisfactory for 11 yrs!
You should know that a partnership isn't one person giving another person. It's unit expenses. Unit income. Don't do this till you are a unit and choose someone who acts the part.
I'm not sure I have hangups. I think it's fine for guys to do?
I was addressing why OPs husband reacted that way to a logical option, largely because men are ridiculed for not working and raising children.
I think it's nice you on-line somewhere where that's not frowned upon. In most of the country, and the world, it still carries a stigma unfortunately.
I don't understand why Reddit thinks I'm making a moral statement on what the husband ought to do.