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No, that's not how all humans work. I've been with my husband for 23 years, and only want to be with him.
Please listen to him, he is showing you who he is. That isn't what your heart wants. Don't stay just to have him cheat.
OP finally deleted her account, everyone try to remember the details so we can recognise her again when she meets the ex anyway and destroys her marriage in her update post
I was young when I cheated on him and was a completely different person than I am now
My ex recently texted and now I don’t know how to bring up to my boyfriend that 1) I’ve been texting him and 2) I just wanna see how he is.
Apparently you aren't.
I feel like he’s not planning on paying you back, or can’t, and that’s why he’s pulled away. That’s what it sounds like. And men and women can be best friends. I’ve had a dude bestie for 30 years. Sometimes we trail off, and not speak for 3 months, and sometimes, we talk everyday. We’ve been accused of “hiding a relationship” which is not true. But he trailed off once he borrowed the money……. So……. Maybe that’s it. But I’d definitely stop reaching out. If you need to cut your losses, then do it. I’m sorry if you have to but some people will use you without a second thought. Just be careful who you lend money to in the future.
I’m sorry. Definitely get a lawyer ASAP. The legal and financial issues are above Reddit’s pay grade.
If you leave the house now and then he decides he doesn’t want to sell, you may have to buy out his interest. If you don’t have piles of cash, that could put you in a bad spot, such as having to give him your share of the business (and thus all future profits) instead. And you know AP is going to want your SBTX to keep that big fancy house for his replacement family.
Who owns the business now? A lawyer can guide you on whether it’s better to own 50% of the business or just have it in the divorce judgment that you get 50% of the profits, based on your circumstances. I would prefer the former in most cases for a bunch of reasons, but there may be risks to owning 1/2 of the business too. Ask if there’s a way to prevent the AP from getting her hands on the business. Remember that if he marries her, his future income and increases in the value of his interest will be community property with her. Not to mention he’ll probably want to bring her into the business and push you out eventually.
Keep in mind that however much you think your STBX wouldn’t want to hurt you or your children, his AP is about to have access to your finances and your kids. She doesn’t give a shit about your financial security or your children’s futures. She will want every penny she can get her hands on fur herself and her future children with your SBTX. Right now your SBTX thinks he can have his cake and eat it too, but eventually he’ll try to cut out family #1 in favor of family #2. You will want to make sure not one penny that should be going towards your kids’ education is diverted to his new family.
Gather up:
passports, IDs, birth certificates, and social security cards for you and your kids;
6 months of statements for all the bank accounts and investment accounts;
recent statements, loan balances, and payment histories for all loan and credit accounts (mortgage, cars, credit cards, etc.);
the settlement statement from your home closing;
several years of tax returns;
logins, passwords, and account numbers for every financial account;
in case your STBX decides to get cute with the money, his social security number, DL number, issuance date & expiration date, and passport number.
And tell your kids the truth. If the truth makes your SBTX look bad, then he should have made better choices.
He'll just have to “adjust” to being single then.
It sounds like he's relapsed. If I were in your position I'd leave. I wouldn't wanna go through the emotional and mental turmoil of being with someone who is addicted to drugs and alcohol again. As long as he has other users in his life, he will never be clean and will always be sucked back in.