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The women agreeing are the same ones who’d go off the deep end because their BF asked them not to wear or post revealing shit. ?
Relationships are partnerships, not dictatorships.
It’s a valid criticism, although probably was worded poorly but the guy. Insults are not needed on either side. Probs best for both parties that this doesn’t work out as it’ll continually be a problem for him, and OP will probably feel guilty or angry by his mindset
I have a lot of respect for you, for choosing to online the way you do and build a life on your own merits instead of wanting everything handed to you. That's a fine, not wasteful way to live!. And the fact that you've found a partner that can see the value in living that way is wonderful.
Unfortunately, her parents are the kinds of people that are what's wrong with the world today. They value money, appearances, and consumption more than they value self respect, integrity, and conservation. This tells you all you need to know about their moral compass. It also tells you that trying to convince them otherwise will be useless. Your wife is right, getting yourself worked up over this is not necessary.
The best course of action is to not take it personally, try to ignore it, and when you can't ignore it, give boring non-answers that are conversation-enders. Some examples:
they are pissed that I don't treat my wife as a “trophy wife”? I treat her the way that makes HER the happiest. I'm sure you don't mind me making your daughter happy? That'd be ridiculous!”
go against the premise of her parents wanting me to “spoil” their daughter? she has everything her heart desires. (Repeat with every question/demand they make.)
we could've gotten much better stuff if we spent a little more. We have exactly what we wanted. (Repeat with every question/comment they make.)
why we maintained a spending budget on things. Our financial decisions are not up for discussion. (Repeat with every question/comment they make.)
my car is not a fancy Tesla or something. I have the car I WANT. (Repeat with every question/comment they make.)
It would be IDEAL for her to tell them to knock it off, that you two have the life you WANT and CHOOSE to have, and your finances and life choices are none of their business, and tell them that if they keep doing it, she will put them in time-out from family stuff until they can learn to be civil. But in the meantime, just don't give them the free real estate in your head, don't give them info that isn't their business, and be boring and firm with any non answers you DO give
Just because a guy has sex with you and wants you to enjoy yourself doesn’t mean he’s interested in you. It just means he likes fucking you and isn’t an asshole.
Trust your instincts.
I am.
Guess I'm reading imaginary notifications from ig andcadultfriendfindervthen. Ho hum.
Someone snap chatting to “keep your streak” doesn't mean they aren't upset or won't be ending a relationship. It's clinging to straws and drawing false equivalencies, instead of communicating with your partner in a healthy way. TALK TO HIM.
I do deal with those issues, and have largely overcome them, which is why I know that this isn't the way. But keep being defensive and only accepting what you want to hear. Being snippy with me doesn't fix your issue with your boyfriend. You say you're in therapy, but your “past traumas” about communicating in person are what you need to work on, so you can communicate effectively instead of sending text paragraphs and fretting for days. Your therapist should be helping you with this specifically. Because not being able to communicate face to face isn't just an issue in romantic relationships, it will affect every aspect of your life.
I did offer advice, about how to communicate on important issues. Take it or leave it, but if you don't want actual advice (and just want reassurance and mind readers to tell you what he's thinking), you should have said that.
Also, it's “tools at my disposal” not “disclosure.”
True you’d have to move without your pets and it’s possible your room mates aren’t great.
But neither of those things can possibly be worse than your current situation no?
Heck you may find people you actually like, and who want to be nice to you. That would be great.
I feel like we're missing a lot of context here. She's not someone new he's dating. She's been around for 6 years, and all of a sudden she's not invited to stuff? Big piece of information missing
Pretty reasonable if you guys are planning on sticking together forever.. my wife does all this and more and I never had to tell her in a text! That all sounds like normal shit when your in a relationship, If that’s not you, move along! Someone will be that for him,
tysm it actually makes sense i needed to hear this