[UPDATE] I [26M] found her [28F] TikTok after we went on a date.
5KHere's the link to the previous post.
Hello, everyone. Some people have reached out to me through comments or chat, asking for an update on the situation. Sadly, there isn't much to share at the moment, but I'll provide what I can. Please keep in mind that I won't be discussing this further, nor will I reply to comments. Thank you for your understanding.
After last week's post, I read almost every comment, or at least most of them. I'm thankful to all those who commented and shared a bit of their own personal story. Some people mentioned that anxiety is normal and feeling like not going out is definitely common, suggesting that I shouldn't look too much into it.
While I agree with their perspective and see no fault in not feeling like going out, what bothered me the most in this situation was having to post a TikTok for a significant audition. I'm a private person by nature, and even my social media accounts, like Instagram, have only a single post. I don't really like to overtly share, nor do I want to be with someone who does. It's completely fine to share whatever you want; I just don't want to be a part of it.
So, I decided not to contact her. I chose to pretend I had never seen the post and let things be. I understand a lot of people might think this isn't the best choice, but I feel it is the best course for both of us.
Last Thursday, a few friends, who also happen to know her, invited me for drinks. We went to a bar, and while we were eating and enjoying our drinks, a mutual friend asked me how my date went, as our circle was aware that we were going on a date. I didn't want to say much, so I just replied, “Oh, it was good, but I don't think we clicked.”
This friend followed it by saying, “We figured,” which made me feel rather uneasy. When I asked what he was talking about, he hesitated but eventually said that they had seen a TikTok post from her about not wanting to go out. At this point, I didn't really know what to say. This situation is just incredibly messy for me, but there's not much I can do about it.
Still, I wasn't going to mention it, nor did I try to look up if there was any update on her part. In fact, I deleted TikTok after that incident. It just wasn't doing me any good. Nevertheless, this past Saturday, she sent me a text. She mentioned that she enjoyed our date and asked if I wanted to go out again.
I understand that she clearly stated that she enjoyed our time together. However, I don't want to be with someone who exposes so much of their personal life. It's not something that would be good for me. So, I decided to tell her the truth and sent a text explaining that while I absolutely enjoyed our date, her company, and that I thought she was an amazing woman, her post from the night of our date came across my For You page on TikTok, and it made me feel really self-conscious. While I understand that she enjoyed the date, contrary to what she felt at the time of the post, I didn't feel comfortable going out with someone who had such a high level of exposure online. I wished her the best and expressed hope that she finds someone whose lifestyle aligns with hers.
She has read the message, and left me on read ever since. I don't think she will reply, and I don't think we'll have a lot of social interactions going forward.
I'm sorry if this wasn't the update you guys were expecting. But yeah, sadly, that's what the situation became.
Anyhow, wish everyone a good day.
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