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   TLDR – AITA for putting my foot down, protecting my sense of worth and telling my bf that I won't stand for his behaviour or have I overreacted?

   He has always been super attentive and loving but sometimes to the point of it being too much. Especially in public and I've always felt this is a way of him telling people around us I belong to him. It became clear about 3 months into the relationship he is a very jealous and insecure person with the potentially to be controlling. I am a strong minded woman who will not be controlled or cajoled into anything I don't want and I have told him as much. All his previous girlfriends have been younger and broke so he was very much in control in the relationship. Something that has stuck in my mind as a concern is that he's described them all as crazy. We have had a few issues since the beginning. 1, him being irrationally jealous of coworkers and my ex and 2, him being overly obsessed with watching what I'm doing on whatsapp and 3, him becoming insecure and moody if i don't reply to him fast enough when I'm at home or work. Mostly they've been “resolved” as far as I'm concerned with me actually ending up having to hide my last seen on whatsapp to stop him constantly watching it. On a couple of occasions when we've been going through one of his insecure bouts I've had my overnight bag packed ready to go over to his after work and have been told as I've got in my car that he wants to have a night in on his own. I'm not the sort of person to beg and plead with him to let me come over so have always replied with “right, okay no problem I'll have a nice evening at home with my dog instead” and started to make my way back home. Each time he's then responded with “well you can come over if you want but I won't be much fun” I won't be picked up, put down and picked up again at his whim so I've always gone home. After a couple months of everything appearing great, he's done it again. I take my dogs out for their last toilet break at 9pm and am finished putting them to bed for about 9.45. He always messages during this time expecting a reply and is aggy when I don't. When I pick my phone up I see a message that says ' night then' and it just makes me think urgh for God's sake. I reply saying goodnight and I'll see him tomorrow but he's turned his phone off. Im meant to be going to his for the next 2 days so get my bag ready. He doesn't message all day then as I'm pulling out of my works carpark he messages saying he “wants a night in on his own and he's not feeling great anyway”. I reply with “okay I thought that may be the case just so you know I'll be staying home the night after too” Halfway home he says if I want I can come over. Its too late for that and I'm not being messed around so I say no, I'm going home. I explain how his actions made me feel but he doesn't see it. Now I'm the bad guy and he sees no reason at all for my behaviour and I've ruined his weekend with his girlfriend.

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