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Do you think it’s OK to beat your wife if they don’t “listen”?
I met my husband 10 years ago and I’m 44 now. Never too late.
I have a 10 year old son and he loves and misses my ex. Still to this day. There were good times during our 3 years together. Those are times that I still miss, but overall I thought I knew who he was and after 3 years you would have thought I knew who my partner was, but things change and so do people. It’s very hot when you’re entangled with finances, phone bills, money split to get a car, computer, etc. We even got a second dog that I told him I was keeping because he was literally never home to care for the dog and I work from home. Plus he’s moving to a studio apartment and I have a back yard. He’s proven enough to be able to buy dog food, but living entities need more than just the financials. Animals, humans, plants, anything living also needs the basic care and medicines and doctors and care and love. Which, I just didn’t think he was capable of. Plus, he had agreed that either he or I had the dog and he was planning on sending the dog to his grandparents house until he got settled. We left the dog with his grandparents for a week while we went on vacation to the Bahamas and our dog did not eat the entire week. Our dog also has severe separation anxiety. All things my ex did not take into consideration. There’s a lot he was never considerate about and I got tired of putting my 110% in the relationship and all things while he only got away with 40%. I don’t do uneven dynamics.
Your best bet is to think about all things financial and start separating those mentally. Untangle the entanglement as even and as fair as you can and then present that to them. That’s what I did and then I finally decided I had enough.
I’ve got some recouping to do, but at least this time I’m not left high and dry. Protect yourself. Protect your children. Protect your finances. And most of all protect your peace.
I’m glad my words have been helpful!!
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Yeah this is abuse and gaslighting that us going to continue to escalate. He got an annoyed response to the knife to the throat which tells him he can take it further. He's eventually go9ng to kill OP.
He keeps on disrespecting you because there’s no consequences to his actions. You just expressed your discomfort but then nothing.
You told him you’re done. Act on it. File for divorce. If he change for the better, good, you can reboot the relationship, but if not, at least you’re one foot out of the marriage.
I did, thankyou(: I’m gonna jot this as a learning experience because if anyone treats me similar to how she did I’m walking away.
I forgot to also mention that the reason he’s so suspicious of the whole brother situation is because he has been cheated on twice and both times were with his older brother.
I’m his priority usually. We have had problems in the past of him prioritising friendships (of both genders) over me, which I wasn’t comfortable with because it made me feel like I was a chore to spend time with. Back then he said something along the lines of “I don’t want my life to just be work, college and you”. Doesn’t feel good being compared to chores.
I thought we’d moved past that whole thing but this is just odd. I think I’d be uncomfortable if he was jetting off with his male friends too. But this makes me feel worse because it’s a female he told me he used to have a crush on and it’s unreasonable if he expects me not to be suspicious
thanks. i have one. i also know that i am responsible for my own triggers but you have to understand it is a fresh and ongoing situation that i am in the process of getting out of. this does not excuse my behavior and i know that but i am also allowed to have triggers and be hurt when someone i trust is not conscious of them. of course it does not make it ok or kind, i never tried to imply that. i guess i have a lot more to work on than i thought.
Omg I am embarrassed for this man and for you OP. That is gross. Also, the fact that he legit told you that your top 3! Not even the best. So even worse that he’s telling you you’re one of the best but not the best. How are you ok with that? No wonder this man can’t date chicks his own age?
I'm tearing up reading this. I'm so unbelievably sorry that you were betrayed like that by someone you trusted. You say you have a close relationship with your mom. It sounds like she will be on your side and that maybe the thing you're most worried about is this getting blown up? There is no way around her being hurt, upset, enraged- I feel that for you and I don't even know you.
She knows something is up. She will believe you, and she will support you. I would suggest laying out how you prefer she reacts before getting into what happened to you… like, let her know that you have something very serious to talk about with her that is upsetting. that you are worried about how she will react, but you want/need her support right now. Other than that I don't know, this is heartbreaking. I'm so mad and sad for you. I want you to report him, and your mom will want that too. Don't feel like you need to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Therapy is another resource you should look into if you are able to afford it. Good luck, I hope that you are able to process and work through this trauma with the support of your mom
And you want to marry him? Yeah no
Does he realize if you get married and you change your name to his, you’ll then share a last name? Lol I don’t understand his logic. But either way, this is super controlling behavior and should be a huge red flag to you.
In a relationship, it’s our own responsibility to be attractive to our partner. Do things like weight fluctuations and other factors affect this? Sure, to an extent. But overall, it’s not her responsibility to be attracted to you, and it’s not your responsibility to be attracted to her. You’ve gone above and beyond. You should have a chat with her because she might need to talk to a therapist. Her lack of follow through indicates some depression getting in the way. It’s great that you want to be supportive. But she has to take the bull by the horns regarding her health. Best of luck