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I am experiencing something similar but with my wife where she said she no longer finds me attractive. It is difficult. I guess it requires deciding what is important in your relationship.
This. Making rash decisions for confrontation like this without an appropriate plan of action will only backfire on the OP and cause the cheater to hide things better.
It doesn't matter what anyone else wants: it matters what YOU want. And you don't want a threesome – and that's okay. She should respect that.
Because you get attached easily, I would never do friends with benefits. It’s a recipe for getting hurt over and over and over again. When I read your interactions, it’s almost like he thinks because you’re friends with benefits you’re like his personal sex slave, and should do whatever he wants whenever he wants.
Just because you’re friends with benefits doesn’t mean you have to have phone sex. I actually think you should stop seeing him entirely. And I would also stop doing friends with benefits people with attachment styles like yours. It’s just a set up for pain.
Harsh. But yes, he was in an awful situation, most likely the toxic girl poisoning them all against you, but not a situation likely to improve.
If he chose you, he would lose everyone he knows, and would resent you for it.
Nothing here is fair on him. He could not defend you without the bullying on him getting worse. And because he shared his woes to you, he lost you.
Not much support there, but not sure what either of you could do.
First of, this sounds like she's in the grasps if addiction. Food can be an active addiction and I'm so sick of people saying “well, you can just stop”. Tell that to an alcoholic or someone who's hooked up on drugs. It's not easy and it's not done by snapping a finger. The way you describe her “hanger” gives me typical vibes of classic withdrawal and the need for the comforting feeling food gives and the satisfaction.
As someone who is dating a fit man and has been addicted to food, over eating disorder and body dismorphia l, I can tell you this is not done with a simple conversation. Your GF needs to realize what's going on and she needs to want to out an active stop to it. My boyfriend luckily understands my torn relationship to food and we had a serious discussion over my weight, my struggles and feelings. We are very open about it and I learnt to never take something he says as an insult, because it's not.
Sure, you can ditch her for finding her unattractive but didn't you start dating her for her? If I were you, sit her down in a serious discussion and tell her very open and without insults that you are worried about her and that you noticed a serious change both in her body and her behavior when it comes to food. Research food addiction and show her some warning signs and red flags. Don't go with the usual “your health and your heart” trust me, she knows, rubbing it in her face will only make her close up completely.
Like I said, as someone who is not really that much of a fitness junky myself and dating someone who is a gym rat, we try to meet in the middle, but if course there are things I cannot do but we're working on it. I absolutely understand that, as a couple you want to do things together, bug how about you meet her in the middle? Go swimming for starters, that's easier on her joints and she gets exercise at the same time. What you're doing right now is not helping her at all but harm her joints with all the pressure from walking.
But be fully aware, if this is what I think it is, it's a battle you just have to be ready for.
It doesn’t sound like it but if there’s not a disability stopping her from living alone she shouldn’t need to live with any of her children esp 1 that is planning to get married and start a family. I can see a few months or maybe even a year but she’s gotta get her own life. Is she able to stay at the apartment you guys are in now when you move?