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Finances are one of the top reasons for divorce for good reason.
I'm the breadwinner and healthcare provider for my family. My wife makes good money still, but she is staying part time to care for our kids. We split chores, although she does more of them than I do. We still have trouble with finances, especially discussing them, and still have a good marriage.
There are different approaches to careers, too. Imagine that you lost your job; how fucked would you be? Can you get by on $26k from gigging for even a month? Some people are die-hard about doing their careers their way. Others see it as means to an end. Work to online vs. live to work.
The future hinges on both of you being financially stable and happy. Put a time limit on the dream. You've got x amount of years to make this work. Anything past that time frame is going to do irreparable damage to our relationship because it is putting off marriage, family, finances, and time together. If he doesn't agree to that, then it's up to him to propose a better solution that will work for everyone. No free rides.
Oh my dude you must be out your goddamn mind calling the side ho your “partner” and then sleeping with her in your wife's bed and thinking you can fix this situation.
Good luck, you're gonna need it in divorce court.
You got more estrogen than she does
This is correct, in my opinion, depending on the disability. I am Autistic, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have kids. My dad is pretty outwardly Autistic, and he’s an amazing dad, so I also have the viewpoint from someone who was raised by an Autistic person.
I hope people don’t think blind or deaf people shouldn’t be parents, that’s pretty messed up.
Is there a way to fix the medical issue or “fix” your relationship, which you don’t know for sure is damaged?
Just because there isn’t sperm in the semen doesn’t mean there aren’t any in the testes. Your doctor or probably a urologist could determine that and if/what options may be available to you.
You don’t know how your wife will react but you have to tell her asap. The longer you wait, the more your anxiety will grow and the more she will be upset that you didn’t tell her immediately.
Imo, the best course of action right now would be tell her, schedule an appointment with a urologist or fertility specialist and see what options are available.
If there is no chance of you having bio-children, are you and your wife interested in IVF with donor sperm? Are you interested in adoption? There are a lot of options, depending on what you’re willing or interested in doing. The first and most important thing though, is TELL HER. If you cannot say the words, hand her the paper.
Good luck!
Please !UpdateMe about how you’re doing and how she reacts.
i should’ve added so much more context, im sorry this is my first time posting in this and i honestly didn’t expect much of a response we’ve had the naked conversations, the “are we growing apart” and “should we keep going” etc, i don’t think he’s cheating just because he’s so so open with what he’s doing, if him and his friends are talking about something funny he’ll show me, he’s not hiding his screen when i come in the room etc. He’s very involved in pop culture and music (he’s in a band so that’s part of the reason he’s live so much, too). It could be that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, im just not sure how i would go about confronting that anymore than i already have, the last thing i want to do is lose him, i’d rather just feel more connected if that makes any sense don’t worry about sounding doom and gloom! I appreciate the genuine response!