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I think its getting used to it and seeing what's best for her. Most importantly is that you support her in her lowest.
I have been telling him that I need it since September or so. I was thinking to split up because of how much that situation hurts me, but I really don't want to be alone.
Um, get divorced and find yourself a person who behaves like an adult and also isn't so lacking in the most basic level of empathy and compassion that they can't even treat a puppy kindly?
I'd understand this behaviour in a 7 year old, but in an adult it's frankly pathetic.
Why would you be friends with this person?
You're an emotional punching bag. Run away, do it now, and never look back.
Best answer!
Ultimately it's ops decision to make.
Throw away yrs of a good marriage (his words) for past silly mistakes she made over 10+yrs ago while they were dating long distance? ??‍♂️
These things happen alot with long distance relationships.
Her so called friend is just now spilling the beans bc of their falling out makes me wonder as that in itself sounds suspicious.
Are you able to get a home health aide? Is she able to help with anything at all? This isn't fair to you in the least. She may need a lot of assistance but that doesn't meant she gets to treat you like dirt.
I am firmly in the camp that I don’t “owe” him a relationship simply because he’s my dad… A few calls a year would be absolutely plenty for me. How can I get him to understand this?
Why? You don't need him to understand it. Your boundaries are yours, which means they're up to you to enforce. If you don't want to talk to him, don't talk to him. What's he going to do, leave a voicemail you can instantly delete or not text you about it?
You don't owe him anything, so don't give him anything that you don't want to give him. Try actually blocking his number so he can't even leave voicemails (which your phone provider can do for you).
Manipulative and wanted his cake and eat it too
That entirely depends on who you are. As someone who hates traveling I would be perfectly fine with that as long as things were communicated to me. Besides if I really wanted to travel with my partner I can put on my big girl pants and plan the trip myself. If this bothers you so much then you should try talking to her about it from a place on honesty, instead of coming up with excuses as to why she can’t or shouldn’t. Your problem is that you want her to spend time with you, but making her spend less time with her friends and family will only make her resent you.