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the mom asked OP to for the security system she wanted. You honestly read this post and assumed some fucking weird spy shit? Can you make your biases against OP any more blatant?
Shift her focus to the future. What type of future does she envision? Then break it down in steps. Excuses are just that. They can be worked around. If she gets a job, she can get her own insurance and pay for therapy for instance. If she is not willing to see reason tell her you can't see a future with a partner like her.
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Could both be male.
Great advice. The little bit about the “toxic” relationship in the past was unnecessary here and designed to elicit a specific response from us. Nothing about this fight sounds toxic – it sounds like the same kind of fight a lot of couples have.
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You made a simple mistake and no matter what throwing his wedding ring in the sink is not the way to handle it. I would just proceed with the divorce because even if he didn’t mean it you’ll always have it in your head and it will taint everything anyway.
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I see what you’re saying but I think that’s one interpretation. My interpretation is that they chose to move in together, and the custody situation changes. I would probably also cry if my SO of 4 years suggested I move out. Not every display of emotion is emotional manipulation.
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Do you even know what the disorder is? Hold off on calling people diagnosed with it monsters. This is why people hesitate to share this kind of shit. A diagnosis doesn't suddenly make someone a monster.
Are you maybe projecting by calling him that? I leave that insult for abusers, nonces, and those alike. You haven't mentioned him doing any of that.
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There's a woman out there wishing for you. Leave this toxicity. She left you a long time ago. Go and don't look back. If not for you do it for your children. This example is not what you want for them.
I didnt realize she had actually done it and was being serious, I thought she was just saying it or was planning to do it, not that she was actively doing it, when she mentioned it, I just wasn't fully paying attention I guess which is of course my fault but I feel like when somene else buys a house they celebrate or something. When I told her that, she said it was just a house and that our place is her home, so she didnt feel a need to celebrate it since she had already told me it was her plan and about the paperwork a few times.
I gained ~20kg really fast and now i'm on the verge of diabetes + other health issues. All this “body positive” etc movements have made people think that “unhealthy” is something like 300kg but that's bullshit. I'm 194cm and my normal weight is ~95kg, i'm currently at 120kg and it's already causing me issues. Currently trying to lose weight as well. And for a woman half the size as i am to gain such weight is definitely not “healthy weight”. Yes, it's possible to not have any issues but it's also possible to have issues, it's not some hot rule that from X kg over you start having issues. Wish people would stop that “i'm healthy at 400kg” horseshit.
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Your wife sounds like she has real issues, but it also sounds like you're trying to avoid taking some responsibility for what your relationship with your daughter has become. This part didn't sit right with me at all, “I haven’t bought my daughter any gifts or even simple birthday cards for the past two years for fear of being criticized by my wife on how much I spent.” For starters, no one on the planet would think someone spent too much on a card, or that it would be outrageous to send a card to their child on their birthday. Secondly, she hasn't told you not to spend money on your daughter's special occasions, you simply are afraid she might say something critical about it. Grow a backbone. You're cutting your daughter in ways your wife didn't even ask you to do.
What’s the question here? You got caught. Are you doing it again?
This is abuse. Please speak to other loved ones and tell them what’s going on if you haven’t already. You need a support group right now. You need people around you who love you to know so they can help you and give you comfort
Freeze them for when you’re too upset to cook. I’m sorry, dude.
100%. Being coerced or forced is horrifying. It's not fair for anyone to have to think of the needs of others when they're recovering from that trauma. But life ain't fair, and telling such an enormous, important lie – for so many years – to such important people – is wrong no matter what you're going through.
OP needs to pick a lane. Either you're the victim and were forced into this, too traumatized to say anything, and now need help. Or you made your choices, youre the bad guy, and you're suffering the consequences. This wishy-washy “it's all my fault, but how do I avoid the consequences” shit is just so messy.
That’s emotional abuse. If he kills himself he kills himself that’s his fault not yours.
Maybe your benefits have been canceled. ??
Exactly!
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It's nota Just BDSM tho. It's tattoos of suicides and medieval torture devices. You read the post, right?
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He is 100% sure its his.
You are not happy for him.
Stop lying to yourself and move on from this drama that will never serve you.
Thank you. It wasn't in the US btw
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I see him 6 days a month, where 5 days of it he mostly spends on his phone or gaming and 1 day where we (kinda) go on a date.
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You don't “control” it. You be an adult and tell the truth. It'll come out eventually and be so much worse the longer you wait. Quit being a trash human to literally everyone and grow up. Seriously. I hope the truth outs, hubs leaves you and gets custody of daughter. You piss me off.
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Your Dad is abusive. How hasn't the house been condemned? Where's the landlord? They should have fixed the house decades ago. Your Mom can leave your Dad at any time and stay with you until she gets on her feet.
She always says that isn’t an answer
Dentists recommend twice a day, so people usually default to morning and evening.
Technically you can get away with just one, but as my dentist put it “most peoples technique isn't good enough for that”
That really doesn't matter because the whole point is that the only way she got infected with chlamydia is number 4.
Tell your boyfriend that you're not going to tell him what he can and cannot do. But this issue has made you realize that you guys are simply incompatible as you have pretty wildly opposed ideas of what's acceptable behavior in a relationship. So you're not telling him he can't go, but if he goes then he's not the guy for you and you realize the relationship has fun it's course.
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This probably means you're really good at makeup !! I'm sure you don't look “better” but I bet you're really good at accentuating your best features and making them pop!!
“my friend is so sad, can i cheer him up with a blowjob?”
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Did the friend know there was a camera on her? That adds a whole other level of creep factor.
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Honestly, please do get solo therapy. Many people raise children in a co-parenting relationship and do it well. Don't let your bad experience with your stepfather lead you into a very unhappy marriage.
Did your husband get STI testing before you and he slept together?
Interesting that you mention night terrors. I’ve always had very vivid dreams and often those can be vivid nightmares too. I’ve not acted any out to my knowledge but I wonder if there’s some relation there
Does she have any contact with him? By now she should have blocked her exs.
It's a multipart problem
She lied through omission She implied she wasn't interested in random hookups, which she obviously was. She was banging some guy the same day he was taking her to dinner.
All 3 points are hot to reconcile. I'm pretty possessive. Point 3 would be the most difficult and 100% a deal breaker for me. Idc if we were married with 3 kids. That's now an ingrained image of my wife being railed and then going on a date with me, knowing I want sex, and taking super slow. It's a mind fuck.
The lying is enough to breakup on the spot, especially since it was something that would have swayed OPs decision to date her from day 1.
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Oh god I do not want to be Kris
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I have sadly thought about it but the kids are enamored with him and it would be life shattering for them. One of the only reasons I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong to see if I can still salvage this.
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You can absolutely move forward from this by finding someone who loves and is attracted to everything about you, without you having to change.
Hello /u/average3872,
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request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
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Sounds like she is picking the diamond, it’s just a diamond that was gifted to her instead of one from a shop.
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request advice in real situations involving two or more people
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Hello /u/nopefoffprettyplease,
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request advice in real situations involving two or more people
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It can be. Like I said before, I can be a lot of pressure on someone if you're sobbing over someone you JUST started dating possibly going abroad. I know I would wonder if they'd be able to spend time on their own without freaking out
You leave.
Yes, he's cheating. Get tested for STDs.
Unless you want to open up some dialogue and potentially see him again there’s no reason to drop him an “it wasn’t you it was me” text after no communication for a year to accomplish what?
You’d be better off supporting her as a friend than a lover, cause it seems like you’ve never really been in love anyway. You can stay connected and still divorce, cause let’s be real, this doesn’t sound like it’s ever been an actual marriage.
Maybe make plans to stay with friends incase of a blowup
Info:
Being 19 could you please elaborate on what you consider to be wife material?
I meeean.. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried oral.
Do you really love someone after 3 months and not seeing each other in person?
You're beyond justified here. While it's good to try to understand why trans people may hide that about themselves, it's in no way forgivable to pressure you into sex and only come out in the most vulnerable/tense moment in the hopes that you cave in.
What he did was really selfish and quite hurtful, you've given him just about every decent measure a person could offer. He is really missing out by not having respected you and giving you that information sooner, and for that I think you should not stay together. Hopefully he learns his lesson and values that respect more in the future
In itself that (romanticizing the past) is probably nothing to get too worked up over – just an emotional moment with an old BF. However, I suggest you tell her what you know and point out that this looks like she still has a fire smouldering for her last BF – even after 5 years and that hurts you to see. Be silent and let her say what comes to her mind. Then you can evaluate that.
Sit down and talk with your partner. Tbh it sounds like she hurt your feelings. It’s literally hearing that the person you care about about to see other people. It makes you question yourself “are you not enough”. It fucks with your self esteem. The reason you’re feeling distant is because you’re hurting. Communicate to them how you feel and why they want to be in an open relationship. It’s okay to grow apart as people and want different things but don’t lose yourself in the relationship. You deserve the right to be happy as much as she does. Wish you the best!
Look, if you're into this shit that's your prerogative but no, sex doesn't have to hurt, neither during or afterwards and if penis owner *wants* to cause their partner pain during sex that's something that requires talking, setting boundaries and, most importantly, CONSENT.
Both I imagine.
Not sure why but my comments won’t show up
Yeah it’s a tough transition! Been there. And don’t force it, of course. Give yourself some time to grieve the relationship. Spring is usually a time when everyone’s more outgoing again and more events happen, so maybe aim for putting yourself out there more by then. Take good care of yourself in the meantime and best of luck this term!
Sometimes people feel so entitled they forget we are trying to help them.
It's their nature, don't change yours coz of few ungrateful folks
I'd rather compare it to poison instead of just shit.
These are just getting more fake and fake but the day
one of the most frustrating and infuriating parts of this for me is that i still give a shit about what she thinks.
I am definitely not wrong about their friendship being inappropriate after she betrayed me repeatedly with her, and I know that. I just feel like i was beat over the head for a year about how i’m just unjustifiably insecure and now i’ve somehow taken the bait. This is just one of the things in our relationship that makes her shitty, and definitely the biggest issue, but it definitely isn’t an exhaustive list. I’m just… angry? upset? that after everything she put me through she can sit back and genuinely feel like i’m the problem and she’s better without ME. I don’t wish bad for her but i do wish her what she deserves. ugh.
thank you for this reply. it really helps.
So they let him down. For all their intelligence a 13 year old boy was more determined than they were. His job is to Rebel, so it’s on them. He got away with the freedom they allowed.
Now they will probably pay the greater price because he will probably be in their house a long time.
Please delete any nudes he has of you
Yep! Maybe it's a closure meeting for him so he can fully move on. It doesn't seem like he'd ever be able to have a relationship with OP.
You’re leaving something important out of this story. Why do you wanna be single right now?
This unfortunately doesn’t work for unsent iMessages, only deleted ones.
This is why we don't date scrubs.
Your being settled for. She has a unhealthy relationship with sex given her past. And from what you wrote she seems selfish as well.