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Take it from an older woman who's in the process of divorcing an alcoholic, him behaving this way before the wedding is a gift. Mine developed alcoholism 4-5 years after we got married. Not everyone gets the gigantic red flags you're getting. Please heed the warning.
Cheaters gonna cheat, and liars gonna lie. That's true regardless of whether they are straight, gay, or bi. Apparently your ex was a whole lot more than bi-curious, and being in a committed relationship didn't slow him down at all. Consider him a dodged bullet, and move on.
Yes, being a homewrecker is morally abhorrent and you should possess the bare minimum level of humanity to say no to doing it.
That’s true…
yeah, no, I would dump someone who drinks and drives. That shows a carelessness in others, in his own safety, and in his future (both financially and legally and just– everything).
Nope, I'd be out the door. Do you REALLY want to feel like you are rubber stamping this behavior by saying 'ok you can do it if you x'? How would you feel if he got in an accident that ended his life? How would you feel if he got in an accident that ended someone else's life?
This! Bingo! Why do people always like to invite problems and drama into their relationship? Nothing is wrong with the norm you know.No let’s spice it up with a crazy looney-tune!
Highly doubt he would be going to a family Christmas at only 10 days.
No problem would she also cut off her friends
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Yeah I just think its very important to be open with your partners, no mater what kind of relationship it is.
The dating phase is kinda the only place where its somewhat acceptable to withdraw certain info, its where you test the waters first. So if youre trans and went on a few dates with someone, you then see what they think of LGBT, then trans people, would they consider dating someone whos trans? ETC. until they drop the bomb. I understand if thats the only way to see if its safe enough to be honest
Why would you have this man around your child? This is a huge problem.
You’re pulling my chain right? Someone says no to sex once and they are putting their spouse through “hell”? You can’t be serious.
OP, doesn’t sound like sex has anything to do with it, it sounds like a lack of the rest of the relationship.
I don’t get much of a sense of who either of you are from this, but my first thought is setting some quality time aside for you two. Date night, or just board games at home, whatever you guys like to do together that promotes interaction.
It sounds like you guys have drifted apart a bit but because sex is only available between you two, that’s where you come together, but I don’t see that as what’s creating the gap.
Yeah, this is really the best course of action to take.
Why do you want to chase a married man? Are you stupid?
It is better to feel guilty that to be dead.
And you would end up dead if you stayed with him. Just look at the murder statistics involving strangling.
Why did you withdraw your statement? By doing it you put yourself and other women in danger.
Y'all have had major issues before with incompatibility. Just leave already.
Also, why go through and delete your previous post history and comments? Are you that hell bent on bait posting? It's a pretty shitty thing to do to bait judaism and circumcision for karma, of all things, also.
I think you’re right. I like the dog. The ex seems generally nice when I see him, briefly. But the hiding meeting yo with him is not something I think I can handle.
Keep the text of her attempted cheating and be with her as fwb. And find someone new who values u
So it’s pretty common for a girl to have had coke snorted off their tits?
This is great advice, thank you! I just don’t want him to turn it around on me and say “well why were you looking” it’s sounds stupid because I was hoping for concrete evidence other than just flirty banter. I don’t want him to spin it that I’m just being paranoid. But I will bring it up.
And no they haven’t met outside of work just them 1 on 1. There has also been other coworkers there plus his mum works at the school also so I doubt he’d be stupid enough to try it in-front of her. I don’t think he would bring her to our house, there are pictures all over of us and my stuff is everywhere. But by the sounds of the texts they want to go out drinking alone while I’m gone. The drunker the better as-well.
Just get over it. Without all the information, I'm just going to assume he loves his daughter and grandkids and didn't want them to move 700 miles away. It might not have anything to do with you.
I'm not sure why you didn't learn your lesson on the prior trip (and repeated the exact same mistake on the ski trip). That's something you need to be introspective about and learn from, quickly.
But, NONE of that justifies her hitting you and cheating on you with a random guy. She did cross a line and you're going to have to decide if this marriage is worth trying to fix because it will probably take a long time (and that assumes your wife will make amends and put in the work too).
This was one of the facets of the same sex marriage debate back in the day, where one side said that couples could have ceremonies just not be married in the eyes of the law. The problem came when one of the couple got sick and the other wasn't allowed to visit them in the hospital or make decisions for their care, long term relationships where one died and the other wasn't allowed to make decisions for their funeral, etc. I'm sure if you look up the problems these couples faced you will find instances that can be relatable.
You didn't provide any of that info in your post. We're not mindreaders. You're wrote this like you're dealing with heroin addict.
At the end of the day, he told you he wants to smoke again, so whether or not he asked you to help him quit in the past is kind of moot, no? Which brings us back to what I said before: you can deal with that, or leave.