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Willa, 19 y.o.
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I have ADHD, so does my boyfriend. He definitely isn't less of a man.
I think this has more to do with your ex, she just wasn't a good fit for you.
Get out of that lease and cut your friend out. He sounds like a shitty person so he’s going to make you out as the bad guy because nothing he ever does can be wrong. When people show you who they are, believe them.
He wants you to be dependent on him and he wants to be in control – stay away from him
If he’s attending he should also contribute. He and his friends and family will be eating food and likely drinking expensive alcohol too and partying. It doesn’t sound like it’s just a small wedding request with a tiny group.
Thank you that’s super helpful advice x
Talk about it openly. Let him know (if) you are open to trying some/all of his ideas but that it will not be a regular thing. Set the boundaries and limits ahead of time so that all parties are on the same page. From there you can decide where to go and how to proceed. Or not.
Also, if he can’t stay hard without a certain act, I wonder if he doesn’t need to ease off the porn or even sex completely for a little while? Men (and women too I’m sure) can be desensitized by too much and lose desire for “vanilla” stuff. Hence the idea behind “No Nut November”. Like cleansing your body to lower your tolerance for caffeine or something.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone does things at their own pace, and plenty of people lose their virginity in their 20s. Also the right guy won’t care about this.
Honestly you could use this as a kind of douchebag test – if a guy thinks there’s something “wrong” with you or shames you for something superficial like being a virgin, you’ll know he’s probably not worth your time.
If you sued him, do you think you would ever actually collect? It might just be a write-off.
How is OP being catty?
You need to talk to a lawyer because divorce laws are different in every jurisdiction. Could be you can just file for divorce and ask him to leave the home. Could be you'll have to pay him to leave (and in some places he could even claim half the house). Don't go into this blind. Get an attorney and figure out what your options are.
You're not the same person though just because you wouldn't do something the same way doesn't mean that she needs to act or react in the same way you would.. she is her own person. Either way she's decided to go on this trip without you, you have to decide whether you're going to leave her or stay with her.