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She very clearly wants this pregnancy, she’s 39 and has stated so numerous times. Whole situation is fucked. He shouldn’t have told her he wanted to get her pregnant and they both should’ve used protection. Now a kid is going to come into this world that’s only partially wanted.
Oooof. You should try like “you do whatever you want, but don't lie” but I don' really know what to say here
In all seriousness, you deserve somebody who treats you better and makes you feel good. This guy is not it.
That shouldn't be the “perfect solution” in your eyes tho because in that way, you're only thinking about yourself since you've stated that they wouldn't be happy with it.
I think if you want to stay close to them, as you mentioned, it might be best to just go back to friendship because it seems like there would be unequal dynamics that could cause problems if y'all were to get into a polycule. Being poly requires a looooooot of work and communication, and if only one person is happy with the set up, then it isn't really much of a polycule.
If your friends are expressing doubts that won't/don't seem to change, it really is probably for the best to not press the matter.
Less guilt, more communication.
First, it’s not your fault for having a bad reaction. You can theorize and preview all you like, but you never truly know how you’re going to react until you are in the middle of things and actually reacting to them. Watching your partner get actively sexually intimate with someone else always carries the potential of being traumatic.
Second, yes, she could have done a lot better job of noticing you were having a bad time, and backing off without you having to play the heavy. “You good, bro?”and then going back to the other guy is lazy. It shouldn’t take a Ph.D to notice “BF is having trouble getting naked, this clearly isn’t a positive experience for him,” and pulling the emergency brake. She was being insensitive, and dude was being opportunistic. So you do have some reason to look at her differently.
If you want to get past this you’re going to have to communicate fully about what you feel about all aspects of what happened. How much it sucked. How hurt you are now. How humiliated you feel. (You don’t have to be ashamed of feeling humiliated, but don’t sweep that feeling under the rug, either.
That said, you don’t have to get over it, and what other people think about that doesn’t matter. You’re the only one who has to on-line through what you’re undergoing. They can’t decide for you, and they can’t live it down for you.
Right now he just posted on his story “I just keep sexier like what’s that about”, it just seems like an attention grab.
What's wrong with him posting an “attention grab?”
If he doesn’t like peaky fookin blinders then he aint the one
Get out, get out, get out, get out!!!
Google the number one cause of death of pregnant women.
Your description screams all sort of wrong, this man is not safe, please save yourself and the baby.
Fair ? I’m new to this
Damn sis, i'm proud of you.. yet also sorry you had to deal with all of that bs.
Yes, he actually asked me on a date last night and I declined due to us having way too much at home that needs to be cooked. So we cooked dinner and watched tv instead. But he typically never initiates anything outside of the house that doesn’t involve spending money, which is what we’re trying to avoid right now. He hates taking the dogs on walks because his job is hard labor so he’s tired by the end of the day. He doesn’t like to go and see family or friends. I just feel like he either doesn’t like spending time with me or he’s got stressors that he doesn’t like talking about and he deals with them by having alone time.
Control yourself and you'll be fine. You literally don't have to act on anything. Remind yourself of all your gfs good qualities and focus on annoying aspects of the coworker for a while.
Making an apology might actually help. I would normally say that any contact is sus, but in this case if he is seeking to apologize then not letting him could cause more harm than good.