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Wow it sounds like she really knew how to work you. She kept you on the hook by having sex with you, you felt bad and paid for all her bills, while she went out and had a good old time with her own money for whatever she wanted and whoever she wanted. Yeah I guess there's not going to be any reconciliation so file for divorce and get it done. Get yourself checked for STDs while you're at it too.
In another comment OP states there was an incident that Frank doesn't like her for. She says BF and her have moved on, but Frank hasn't.
My guess is cheating and Frank doesn't trust her and BF isn't as 'moved on' as OP thinks he is.
Either way, this isn't looking like the makings of a long, healthy relationship.
It's always hard but you deserve an equal.
Yeah
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I mean this in the kindest way possible. She is 31. This is who she is. Your life the way it is, is how its always going to be while you devote yourself to her. Love isn't some magical game changing thing, true love is about respect and being able to handles one shit while lifting your partner, yes you can deal with a depressive episode here and there, but if that episode the entire relationship well I hate to say it, but there is no helping it.
Going out with a single mom is like continuing someone elses save file. If you want kids and she doesn't, then you move on to someone else. Simple
It's no one's fault actually. It's a non-problem.
Not in all places. Some jurisdictions will have varying degrees of common law/de facto marriage type commitments but in some jurisdictions the only way to be committed to a relationship is to be legally married.
With regards to what he did or didn't say though it's pretty clear that he wasn't explicit enough if she didn't understand. It's not hard, you just say I'm not looking to get into a fully committed relationship, I won't marry you/do necessary things to end up in a common law marriage with you, if that's something that is important to you then this won't work.
It's definitely the default expectation that people are looking for a committed relationship and it's really not ok to string them along when you could so easily set them straight. It's duplicitous to start a relationship without being clear that you're not looking for something the other party would expect from you. I don't think I'd ever remarry if my marriage ended, I don't need to quite frankly. I couldn't imagine stringing along a guy for years letting him think that we're headed down the path to commitment when I know we're not, that just seems so wrong.
Common now because of porn. Its use is rampant and its not good for the male brain.
That’s certainly important context, but to me, that’s just an additional issue where he lied to you. That’s absolutely a big deal, but I want to make sure you’re framing that argument like that; it’s not that there were girls there (although it certainly becomes more questionable given that he lied); it’s that he said there wouldn’t be. That’s a real issue and you should be upset about it.
But again, I’m still struggling to understand why his father insulted you to begin with (has this happened before?), but more importantly that your boyfriend just let it happen and left. That’s simply not ok.
You’re not exaggerating and the timeline means nothing. Even if he were gone for a month, he let his father insult you, told you it’s whatever, and lied to you. Why would him coming back in a few days make all of that ok?
I think this is a really good point that you are bringing up about her being 29. 30 hits harder for women. This is the time people start wondering about if you are ever going to get married if you haven’t gotten married yet. Even though the science on this is dubious, pregnancies do start to get riskier and parents that want grandkids start being less delicate with their implications that time is ticking. If her and her ex broke up because he wasn’t ready to get married and told her he didn’t think he would be ready anytime in the near future fucking blows to then hear that he is getting married now before you. it’s not like he woke up one day and decided he wanted to get married presumably, so it isn’t that, he didn’t want to get married. It was that he didn’t want to marry you. Even if you have no emotional attachment to this person anymore, that still hurts.
I’m not “dragging my feet” I’m quite literally trying the best I can given the situation.
She had plans. You're going on as if she's out with him every single night and witholding him from you. It was one evening and you throw a temper tantrum? And you have the nerve to dictate to her that she's not allowed out with the baby? You are ridiculous.
Yes, it sucks that you are working such long hours but how is that her fault? She brought the baby to see her family. Something you clearly can't be bothered to engage with given that you're refusing to attend the family party.
I bet if she left you with the baby all the time you'd soon change your tune.
You need to grow up. You can't even handle the replies here from people without having a tantrum. Pathetic behaviour.
Yeah, we’ll probably leave within the year. I don’t know why she can’t compromise. She’s going to be pay check to pay check when we leave, not sure why she wants that when we’re helping her and giving her a cushion.
Plus it will save money figuring out those issues before any jewelry is bought. But seriously, dating and living with someone takes off the rose-colored glasses.
He doesn’t like you like someone you’d like should. Let him go momma
I’m envisioning roller derby.