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No one is owed sex so rejecting someone's advances definitely isn't a form of emotional abuse. That's quite the leap to make.
If someone is experiencing emotional abuse, they should absolutely leave the relationship so that they can protect themselves. Cheating isn't the solution for emotional abuse.
I feel the context of the cheating would really matter to me. Was this a drunken mistake with a stranger, a close friend of hers, an ongoing relationship she had behind your back? Did you find out about it or did she tell you about it?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to work it out and I respect the hell out of you if you can!
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You don’t feel like it’s sharing because it isn’t.
I don’t understand this $100 thing. Why would you put all of your money minus $100 into a joint acct?
I think this is a good chance for you to try to see each other sides and compromise. It seems like you see his side but he’s not seeing yours, or is dismissing it. He’s been married before so doesn’t see the sense in paying the money, but can he see that it’s your first wedding? Is he looking for a budget less than his first? Why does he think this wedding deserves less? Is he willing to cut his wants to make it cheaper? Etc.