Wait, so blind trust is more paramount than fidelity?
I mean, I really hope for their sake, that there's nothing going on, but yeah – no. Her cheating is a MUCH bigger problem than his worrying. Honestly, she's actually given him a reason not to trust fully.
How much is the limit? I would buy her a gift you can either re-gift, return or use for yourself, in case she doesn't come through, or just give it to her regardless, because gifting doesn't have to be reciprocated, but that would be kinda rude to suggest a gift exchange and then not do it.
If the dates don't work out, try not to dwell on it, maybe it will happen in the new year, but after that, I would consider moving on. She sounds a bit flakey whether it's intentional or not. It's probably better to stay just friends.
but why are you paying her expenses every month? you started doing that after only two months of dating???? that's insane. stop paying for her. she should be supporting herself and her child, not dating men to get money to live. Tell her to look for full time work. And are you sure the daddy is a deadbeat? Did you hire an investigator to find him and do a credit check? or are you taking her word for it? Long term (possibly short term), this relationship will not work because it's a financial transaction to her. Either you will get tired of paying for her and someone else's child, or she will want to “trade up.” This type of power imbalance is not healthy.
There’s a difference between “loving” someone and feeling empathetic for them and wishing them well. I think you need to reconsider what your view is on is woman who is clearly hitting on your partner, disregarding you, and trying to arrange secretive meetings.
I would highly recommend letting her know she’s made you uncomfortable and that you AND your man would appreciate if she doesn’t contact either of you again.
I’d also talk to your boyfriend and get his feel on it. If he’s for you, he will be supportive and not want her around either.
Since the two of you discussed it multiple times you told her it was a fundamental boundary with you then it clearly shows that she does not respect you and yes, I don’t think that there’s much of a relationship here. You need to be a man of your word.
He lives in a country that financially can't move out. This is normal and not an issue. He has explained before his mother is controlling, when i was in his country she called at 3am demanding he come home (he didnt) but i know for an extended period he would be expected home.
Those questions have been spoken about before. If we continue the relationship he will move to my country, yes it would be his first time paying rent but he is financially independent to his family already, it is just rent that isnt affordable to move out. He also stayed with me for 5 weeks in my home, he is responsible to maintain his share with cooking, cleaning etc I'm definitely not adopting a child that has been made clear.
We have talked about the future and at the moment we are happy with how it is and he is making steps to a new career that will allow a transition to my country easier in the future when we are ready.
Congratulations, you understand how social media works? And your reading comprehension is abysmal, clearly. But again, go off sis. Can't believe this guy missed out on the chance to date you, you seem like a very intelligent, well rounded person. Such a joy he let slip away. /s
Wait, so blind trust is more paramount than fidelity?
I mean, I really hope for their sake, that there's nothing going on, but yeah – no. Her cheating is a MUCH bigger problem than his worrying. Honestly, she's actually given him a reason not to trust fully.
How much is the limit? I would buy her a gift you can either re-gift, return or use for yourself, in case she doesn't come through, or just give it to her regardless, because gifting doesn't have to be reciprocated, but that would be kinda rude to suggest a gift exchange and then not do it.
If the dates don't work out, try not to dwell on it, maybe it will happen in the new year, but after that, I would consider moving on. She sounds a bit flakey whether it's intentional or not. It's probably better to stay just friends.
but why are you paying her expenses every month? you started doing that after only two months of dating???? that's insane. stop paying for her. she should be supporting herself and her child, not dating men to get money to live. Tell her to look for full time work. And are you sure the daddy is a deadbeat? Did you hire an investigator to find him and do a credit check? or are you taking her word for it? Long term (possibly short term), this relationship will not work because it's a financial transaction to her. Either you will get tired of paying for her and someone else's child, or she will want to “trade up.” This type of power imbalance is not healthy.
There’s a difference between “loving” someone and feeling empathetic for them and wishing them well. I think you need to reconsider what your view is on is woman who is clearly hitting on your partner, disregarding you, and trying to arrange secretive meetings.
I would highly recommend letting her know she’s made you uncomfortable and that you AND your man would appreciate if she doesn’t contact either of you again.
I’d also talk to your boyfriend and get his feel on it. If he’s for you, he will be supportive and not want her around either.
Since the two of you discussed it multiple times you told her it was a fundamental boundary with you then it clearly shows that she does not respect you and yes, I don’t think that there’s much of a relationship here. You need to be a man of your word.
He lives in a country that financially can't move out. This is normal and not an issue. He has explained before his mother is controlling, when i was in his country she called at 3am demanding he come home (he didnt) but i know for an extended period he would be expected home.
Those questions have been spoken about before. If we continue the relationship he will move to my country, yes it would be his first time paying rent but he is financially independent to his family already, it is just rent that isnt affordable to move out. He also stayed with me for 5 weeks in my home, he is responsible to maintain his share with cooking, cleaning etc I'm definitely not adopting a child that has been made clear.
We have talked about the future and at the moment we are happy with how it is and he is making steps to a new career that will allow a transition to my country easier in the future when we are ready.
Yeah- that part bothered me more than anything, tbh. That he’s so enthusiastic about seeing her…
Congratulations, you understand how social media works? And your reading comprehension is abysmal, clearly. But again, go off sis. Can't believe this guy missed out on the chance to date you, you seem like a very intelligent, well rounded person. Such a joy he let slip away. /s
Listen here to this OP or a place on the Maury Show is in your future!!!