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Sure, you'd probably miss him for a bit if you broke up with him, but if you're not feeling good or fulfilled in the relationship it's better to leave and miss him a while.
Here's the thing, OP. You aren't gross and dirty and neither are people who have slept with dozens of folks. Sex doesn't render people of diminished value That being said, most folks don't want to think too much about their partner's past partners. But what I'm seeing here is a racist, alcoholic boyfriend who reeeally isn't worth your time to begin with.
Don't. That's my advice. Some relationships are competitive or are built on boundary pushing jokes, and others are built on kindness and understanding.
There's no “right” way to have a strong relationship other than being considerate of each other. If you aren't comfortable teasing her- then just don't.
I mean, I guess it could depend on how long you were together. But do you really want to gain closure that could result in him gaslighting you and denying everything? You know that he is cheating, don't go torturing yourself over the why. He is scummier than stepping barefoot in still warm dog turds.