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Languages: en
Birth Date: 1998-02-05
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
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How long were you together?
You should absolutely talk to her, otherwise this will cause a rift in your friendship. Consider her perspective. She anticipated that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. She made an assumption. But it doesn't sound malicious.
A twenty year friendship is valuable as long as it isn't toxic. Does she have a pattern of excluding you?
For being asexual she sure does put in the effort. Sex once a week plus other sexual activities and she initiates? That’s more that a good amount of sexual people.
If you truly love her as much as you claim, this is a sacrifice you’d be content to make. If you’re not satisfied then there’s nothing to do but break up.
I know it stems for deeper issues, but how do I communicate and try to solve conflicts with someone who sees said attempts as attacks, no matter how gentle I try to be with it? Oh, she also sees therapy as at best useless and at worse a scam in case someone wanted to suggest that.
I know it's easier said than done, but when someone constantly speak over and dismiss your authority over what is best for you, and simply refuses to listen to your attempt at mediation as gentle as you try to make them, you simply stop factoring them.
I think you should put as much distance between your mom and you as you can allow. If you have to cancel/excuse yourself off a social event, go ahead do it yourself, don't trust her to do it for you. Gray wall her comments because you're the highest and final authority on what is best for yourself, and you don't have to justify yourself to her. You can listen to what she says, think it's wrong, and dismiss it without any argumentation.
She has no respect for your boundaries, so you need to stand up for yourself.
Dude.
Come on.
Don’t fall for this again.
This is someone who I saw the rest of my life with and I'd hate to think that I let my emotions get the best of me at the cost of our relationship.
Thats exactly what you did do and it has caused a massive rift that can't be fixed with an apology. You need to recognise that you need professional help and you need to think about him. It's not healthy for him to be with you at this point. He knows this. He's at breaking point now.
Seek help so you can develop ways to aid you when you don't feel great and have a support system in place. At that point when you are stable and have been for a while you can start thinking about dating. But right now relationships are dangerous for both people.
I do feel like I make a very conscious effort to love him in his ways. I have asked if there are things I can do better.
Physical touch is important to him so his main focus is on our love life. If it’s in a good place, he thinks we are good. If it’s a dry spell he thinks I am disgusted by him ( not at all true). I’m not a physical person and don’t like when other people touch me other than him and my kids.
He also appreciates words of affirmation so I make a conscious effort to make sure I thank him for things, compliment him, and acknowledge things he has done even though it’s not something that comes naturally to me.
There is so many more things than gifts that make me feel unloved. He doesn’t put his phone down when I am talking to him, he often doesn’t even look up at me. He leaves messes for me to clean up because he “doesn’t know what to do with them” and they are the kids or pets.
I work away 4 days on 4 days off, and he will leave pet messes for me to clean up on my days at home, even if they would be easier to clean up fresh.
I could go on and on but it’s just ranting at this point.
I used to make more effort with the physical stuff but lately I just don’t feel like putting effort in for the things that don’t come naturally to me if he isn’t going to bother on his end.
This is also a question that crossed my mind a lot… why does she not make it clear to them there is no point in even talking this, because she is in a relationship.
I keep asking myself, do all the other guys in relationships get these sort of scenarios from their GF? How do they react?
I know for sure she is not doing anything wrong, she is not making any advancements towards others or entertaining these comments. But at the same time why is she not vocal about her place being a professional environment and not a place where they can all bet on who can take her our for date (including other teachers!)
Itchy is understandable. I feel like if it matters that much to you, it doesn’t hurt to continue the conversation. Let him know it’s uncomfortable for you. Emotionally uncomfortable sounds like a lot. I think that aspect of it might be worth understanding in a deeper way.
For me mariage felt like thats the final straw… if you have unstable feelings… dont get married… yes we all see attractive people but as a married person im not intimidated nor thinking about the attractive person… managing a wife is already a stressful, managing these attractive people is fkd up… you just dont think about it… or maybe its just me.
She is mentally exhausting herself. She should understand that he is working an insane schedule.
I don’t understand this. I have read posts and complaints that my husband sits at home and watches TV all day and plays video games and does drugs.
I have read this post my husband is working like crazy and is coming home exhausted everyday from that insane work schedule. Doesn’t have the ability to talk to me.
In both cases the lady has the same complaint guy is not doing what I want.
The silent treatment is to avoid fights and conflicts. The desire for peace and quiet.
Why not wait to have these discussions once his work load has come back to normal? Why is she going to therapy? I think there is a serious issue in her own mind that she isn’t disclosing.
As I said modern men and women are not suitable for marriage period. Your responses prove my point.
Here is a fun thing. His work can't require him to do anything with his private property. They can encourage it, but not force it. It is not legal. Just report them.
I'm assuming there's something about amount of time you've been single that you feel might be a deal breaker. Advice is impossible to give without that context.