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Don't go to the dinner. I'm serious. There need to be actual consequences for his behavior. If there are no tangent consequences, you are showing him this behavior is acceptable. You can yell and be mad all you want, but if you don't actually DO anything besides saying words, the actual communication is: “there are no real consequences for this behavior, therefore you may proceed”.
Do not send this message, this will set a TERRIBLE precedence for the relationship.
Why didn’t you propose then? You have some deeply-held sexist beliefs there.
But what does any of this have to do with being autistic, because it seems like you included that information specifically to justify your behavior.
The vast majority of people, including both allistic and autistic people, would have been irritated by your roommates joining the party and putting on a front to look good in front of mutual friends. I get it. It sounds like a frustrating dynamic and no one blames you for being bothered by it.
But being autistic doesn’t factor into you responding to that frustration by getting drunk and causing a scene.
Yeah lol this can’t be real. If you windmill slam someone into the concrete and they hit their head they’re going to have a skull fracture and be bleeding everywhere, not just be surprised when they wake up
Um… what ? that’s fucking insane
Has this happened more than once and if so with what frequency?
Well now you know who he is. Which is someone so scared another person is going to get one over on him that he'll do whatever he thinks he'll need to do to still have one over on them the moment he thinks that might be what is going on. The only way to get ahead with this one is to stop playing. You have no way to be even with him, let alone win, because you just know the minute your back is turned he will be doing it again, just in case. Just go. Tell him a “just in case” life is not what you want to online.