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Impossible to say. Yes, it could mean he's checked out of your relationship… But you have a newborn. It's normal for first-time parents to be completely overwhelmed at that time.
That being said, I want to know more about what your relationship was like before you had a baby. For that matter, what's the division of labor like right now? Your post makes it sound like you're following the baby 24/7, which is absolutely ridiculous; he should be way, way, way more involved, regardless of the fact that you're on FMLA and he isn't. (Why aren't the two of you trading overnight feedings so that each of you can get longer segments of consecutive sleep? I mean, assuming that works: if one of you has insomnia and can't go back to bed for another 4 hours, it makes sense for the other one to do all the nighttime feedings. Now you know why I haven't gotten much sleep for the last 19 months.) To be clear, none of this conflicts with my previous statement — it's overwhelming as all heck; and, even with what seems to be a comparatively reduced workload, it could be that your husband feels completely swamped. But I'd still question this division of labor.
We have a belief in our culture that good parents are dedicated parents — that the proper way to parent is to have no other identity. This is not only wrong, it's backwards. As you've just discovered, self-care is incredibly important; it's the foundation of being a good parent. So, while I wouldn't be pointing fingers or lofting accusations, I would point out to him that putting your relationship, as husband and wife, off to one side in favor of the child is fundamentally harmful to the marriage and therefore to the child by proxy. And, if you've been doing the same — which would be understandable; a child is still overwhelming — this would be a good opportunity to confront that and question it.
Best wishes, and happy belated birthday!
You seem to have done everything you’re supposed to do. Continued enthusiastic consent was given the entire time. She started off by asking you what you like about her, clearly she wasn’t sleep having a conversation with you.
My boyfriend has had sleep conversations with me before and know how that goes? “Did you put the iron in the hamper?” Honey, we don’t own an iron, and it doesn’t go in a hamper” get your hands off my soup!” Sleep conversations aren’t coherent.
She feels guilty she enjoyed it, but I would seriously be wary of continuing this relationship if she so easily throws around the R word
Could he have sent it to her accidentally? Of course. Did he? No. But it really doesn’t matter at this point. Your marriage is shot, if he’s not already cheating he’s attempting to. You’re both unhappy.
You literally ruined her night by worrying about other peoples experience at the concert.
Sorry but you married an abuser.
See how he went completely nuts when you had no way to escape the running vehicle? And how he would 'never hurt you' when you were no longer trapped?
Well, he already hurt you by screaming and threatening to kill you and himself.
He made a death threat. Let that sink in.
Of course he won't apologise, he loves tornmenting you.
Please be aware that his behavior has nothing to do with you or what you did or didn't do.
He also does not have anger issues or whatnot.
He acts that way because he is an abuser.
You need to leave and every time he threatens suicide, you call the cops for a wellfare check. EVERY FUCKING TIME.
Time to look at the other red flags too.
If this is real.. I hope her mom calls her and shows her the light. You’re a prick.
He is a child and this is just the beginning. Who knows what else he lies about. Leave him. Your breasts are beautiful and so are you. You deserve better, someone who will adore you and every part of you and not have unrealistic fantasies they got from growing up on porn. He's immature and a liar. He doesn't deserve your attention or love or time.
Hun. This isn't about him holding on to emotional grenades. Sure. Maybe he does that. But it sounds like he also waits for you to argue so he can absolve himself of his current issues by throwing your past faults in your face.
I've had abusive friends who did this. You're always wrong footed because the person will always have something to throw at you.
I came up with a naked rule: if I do something that upsets you (that would otherwise be considered mundane to others, let's not ignore truly toxic behavior) and you don't tell me that it upsets you, I am not going to feel guilty that you held onto it for 2 years. I often do emotional checkups with my friends and husband, “We still cool?” “Everything's okay with us?” because of said previous toxic friends. But, they say no, nothing's wrong, and I will not feel like shit if they come out 6 months later with crap they could have told me about at any point and that I would have jumped to fix.
I don't know your husband, but this smacks of deliberately manipulative behavior instead of him just 'bottling things up'.