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Its simple if you dont ask you dont get. Is it nice to get a little unexpected thing like a little gift, some chocolate or something sure. But if you are needing specific things like groceries then you gotta ask just expecting them to turn up is ridiculous and maybe its just me but im not asking or expecting a girl i have only been dating for 7 weeks to buy my groceries for me.
Also its his choice how he spends his money blowing up at you because he chose to spend his money on dates or whatever is just pure toxic does he take any form of responsibility for his own life and choices or does he need you to mummy him forever.
p.s I get the feeling hes that nice guy whos always willing to lend a hand and help out but with the expectation that whoever hes helped now owes him one and if you fail to make it back up to him in his eyes he throws a tantrum like a toddler and suddenly the whole worlds against him he does this and he does that for everyone and nobody helps him yadda yadda in conclusion OP might be best to take a step back re-evaluate the relationship.
expecting someone to add your name to the house just for part of the bills being paid is insane. I mean, good for her, but it's insane.
YTA. You wanted something that you could control, and that would obey you. Instead, you got a feeling and thinking human being, and if he feels repressed, it's because he is. You sound like an unwavering dictator with your rules.
You may want to seek therapy to try and understand human feelings and to understand why you chose to threaten his college when he expressed his feelings and thoughts. You dismiss him. You dismiss his feelings. You refuse to look inward.
And that's why, so many parents your age have kids who won't speak to them anymore. When you find freedom, it's torture to have to go back to a.prison on holidays and breaks. We tire of hearing how we should be grateful that you clothed and fed us. We're tired of hearing how WE were always the problem and are ungrateful.
Provide your son w the mental health help he needs, admit you shoulder some of the blame and start there. Or ignore everyone here, and you'll be completely estranged from him in less than 5 years.
When you weren't looking, we were all here, learning about healthy boundaries and that we don't have to continue relationships w people who have toxic traits.
The only reason is because the pregnancy is happening in their body and every person has the right to bodily autonomy. If men where the ones with the uterus and the ability to give birth, then it would be the mans choice entirely.
This is what happens when you’re in your mid to late 20s and you date a teenager. You’re at very different points in your life. He’s only 22, most 22 year olds are in school and/or somewhat dependent on their parents still. I think you’re expecting too much from a 22 year old.
Yes she is but you will come off as one too. What she did was Wrong because she didn’t talk to you and made a unilateral decision, and didn’t trust you. I’m pro choice but when you’re married it’s the communication and trust for me she didn’t even bother to give you a chance. Document everything, get a appointment with a DA and be smart. If you’re going to be pissed off and dismissive, Be smart about it. Because if she can do that she will take care everything else from you.
You're right, I should have done that but I didn't think it would be a problem. I just don't want to get rid of the pillow, but maybe I can offer that as a compromise.
No, what is your take on his text?
Hahaha wow, I'm usually all about justice and turnabout is fair play, but damn.
You and most of the comments here are saying yes she should cut out the stepmom. I just want to make one counterpoint, devils advocate. OP, you're not going to win any great victories here, bring justice to the world, change your father's mind, or change stepmom's behavior. Simply put, you can dodge this battle entirely.
Most people have someone in their family who is petty, has done some crappy things, and usually continues doing it. It sucks, we all hate it. But we bite our tongues and hold our nose and spend a few hours around them each thanksgiving and maybe 4th of july or a birthday, and that's it. There's nothing that says having stepmother in /u/ThrowRAweddingsham 's life means they have to be close. Nothing that says she needs to be an influence on or spend more than a few hours a year around your children (or you).
Op wants to draw a naked line in the sand here and cut her out entirely, and that decision is cutting out her dad which she doesn't want. But there's no need to draw that hard line. Keep her at a distance, don't let her influence your kids, and only see her at essential times like holidays. You can stay somewhat more connected with your dad via phone calls and/or zoom calls a few times a month.
My wife and I are in a situation somewhat like this ourselves. Drop the ultimatum and/or say you changed your mind, and then just keep her- at arms distance or more. That will necessitate seeing him less, but you raised the issue and he made his choice.
Ultimately everyone will be happier, just grin and bear it for a few hours a year. This is also, ultimately, being the bigger person.
Your mother allowed you to be put in harms way. Whether or not she wanted to do something about it for herself, is her business. But to let her child be abused that same way and not protect you is wild.
If everyone is aware and does not care, maybe NC should extend to everyone. Not picking a side IS picking a side when it comes to inexcusable actions:
Oof, tricky. Not every person is perfect but I’d believe every loved one should do their best rectify their mistakes if it hurts the other individual or clearly explain the reason of their behaviour if they think it’s in your best interest.
But the fact that he clearly asked “why are you with me” & “then let’s break up if I’m so horrible to you”, I would not take those words lightly.
I’m sure he loves you but his words sound like a test to your boundaries…