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I read this whole post out of curiosity/boredom. Are you autistic/neurodivergent? Your replies are absolutely bat shit insane. I’m more interested in the psychology of your behavior than anything now.
But the reason always comes down to “they want to do it.” Sure, it's in response to something wrong in the relationship, but the response to that can only be cheating if they want to cheat.
Guessing you're a dude?
Women are conditioned to keep themselves safe. Rejecting men in public is a bad way to stay safe. And potentially causing a scene with a customer is a bad way to stay employed.
A lot of guys forget that just because they aren't a jerk doesn't mean that many other men are, and that without knowing what kind of guy they're dealing with women will err on the side of caution.
In my view, your hesitation is warranted about throwing him out of your home if he leaves for five days. It could escalate the situation if your husband is not cheating and acting strangely. I would suggest something more comparable–you will accept him going away for five days only if he looks after your two kids for five days while you go away prior to his trip.
Also, make sure the money is coming out of his or his friend's funds and not your joint finances.
If you are worried about cheating/infidelity, it is okay to ask for details about the trip and check in daily via video to see you and the kids.
Love how I'm getting downvoted because people think I'm against OP. Co sleeping is great. They are obviously doing it wrong. I'm expecting my first baby in about 2 months. We will have the crib next to our bed. Co sleeping will only be limited to naps early on.
I have been a non touchy person since the beginning though or maybe your right but he’s my safe space and I feel so attached to him and like I said there is always a voice telling me im going to regret breaking up with him for the rest of my life and im never going to find a better person ?
So this is a good opportunity to practice speaking up and being honest, while being kind. She you have been dating for two months, you aren't sure if this will last, and you are young, so this is a prime moment to start building this skill.
The next time she pouts, just tell her, very kindly- why are you pouting? She will then answer with like “cause I don't want you to leave” or whatever, and you just say “well I am leaving because I have other things to do, and I don't really like the pouting, it feels a little manipulative and childish, so please don't do that again.”
Is that awkward? Absolutely, but conversations like this usually are. You addressed it while it was happening, you aren't rude, mad, or putting her down, and you are being clear. If this causes a fight/for her to be upset, then you just stick to your guns and talk it out: When I have to leave, or ask you not to do so much PDA, you pouting or trying to guilt me makes me feel worse and wonder why you don't respect my boundaries. If you need things from me in this relationship, then use your words and tell me, but also respect that I will express my needs- like not liking PDA- and also I have to go home/leave to do other things.
This is great practice for trying to solve conflict, and if she reacts badly, well then you know you are right to cut it off, and if she takes it well and adjusts her behavior, well that's great!
I think before even getting engaged, married etc. You and her need to deal with this situation. The examples you mentioned so far are literally nothing. What is so bad about checking if you are running late? She is also being a hypocrite being saying that her own mother can do all these things. If there is something I can’t stand is being disrespectful to people for no freaking reason. She either needs to stop this behavior or otherwise you need to consider if you can be with her like this forever. Also if kids are something that is in your future then even more so to get her to stop. Can’t even imagine the damage that will do hearing their mother talking about one of their grandmothers like that.
Dump him immediately. He’s tracking you without your consent or knowledge and that is unacceptable.
Next time you see him, it would be super cute if you ask him where you're going to run into each other next. It would be soooo much more convenient for you if you two planned it in advance. You already lost his number, so maybe he can be responsible for hanging on to yours.
If you don't run into him in two weeks, you could message him telling him that you must have missed the scheduled encounter! You'll have to make it up to him. Maybe at a specific place on a specific date.
Given that you keep running into each other, you may have compatible lifestyles with similar likes. You're not an idiot, just nervous and forgetful. This is adorable. Things can go wrong, but things can also go well.
Not at all.
No. Don’t marry her and make it harder than it has to be. Co-parent and cut off the relationship if you will never be what she needs.
I think you know the answer. People do all kinds of stupid shit because they want to feel they belong. I know a guy that got married to a pretty girl, 10 years younger, she had good solid family support, she was educated, basically she had everything he didn’t have growing up. Know what happened? He cheated on her and was chronically unhappy. See he was blinded by the delusion of by being with her, he would have what he always wanted. A nice family. His kids would have normal grandparents and aunts and uncles.
Know how I met that guy? Live. We went on a date. Three years later he tells me the entire time he was cheating on his wife. Duh. She wasn’t a horrible person, but she would be out of touch with what his childhood was like. She was quite snooty in my opinion and as a younger sibling birth status, quite selfish and entitled. So yeah he was cheating. I get it. The point is when they separated, he lost her family even though they have a child.
Look, it’s shitty, but some of us just don’t have solid families. We CANNOT fill that void by marrying into or being with people that do. Guess what? Their parents and aunts and uncles etc die and we will still be here with the person we are with. Their siblings move away. Maybe they will have internal conflict. Family or no family, you need to select someone that is good to you.
Drop this loser. Move on. Make a family of your own with someone that really cares about you. The persons family does matter, but just remember at the end of the day what will provide you true happiness is the person you are with. Stop looking at the package they come with.
Do not let her baby trap you. Do not have sex with her anymore no matter how good it seems. Once she gets the feeling you're ready to move on she might try to trap you.
You left an abuser for another abuser
“Look, your son kept badgering me to put it in his ass.”
Him moving his friend in to help her has nothing to do with us go away troll.
You don't owe her anything at this point. I'd see a lawyer as she isnt taking counseling seriously if she is trickly truthing you still.
Kinda sounds like SO doesn’t give you the priority or thoughtfulness that he should be. I’m not going to say it sounds malicious, but it sounds negligent. With the additional info about his finances and he being so generous, sounds like emSO can’t really be trusted. Not because he means to hurt anyone, but because he doesn’t understand that you and the kids should be his #1 priority. Thankfully it sounds like his parents DO understand that you should be his priority.
You have been saying it’s not your hygiene. That you already fixed it. That you already had more sex after the fact. And that she still wants you.
She doesn’t.
Believe actions. Not words
Or stay in a sexless relationship
He doesn’t let things go easily and it’s going to be a challenge trying to chase away those black clouds from this. I don’t want it swimming in his head that this could be a “reason” when it wasn’t
What if this is as good as it gets ? Its very overwhelming the thought of losing someone i love this much.
It’s time to talk calmly and explain that like him he can see other man attentions you see her attention towards him. Tell him it’s obvious she have a crush on him and try to find any excuses to spend time with him and you can’t take any longer or it will put trouble in your relationship. She is trying to be close to him and he must distance himself or it will not end well
Cut him off sis