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I know it's not the most usual way to deal with tumultuous relationships but sometimes you need to fight fire with fire. It worked for me. Been together for 20 years when it happened once again, she threw a fit and told me to go f… myself. I used to let her loose her steam without saying anything but this time, I snapped. I just told her ” no honey, YOU go f…. yourself” in the most detached way and left the room. Her eyes grew big like saucers and I could see her instantly deflate. I never challenged her before because I loved her unconditionally and kind of treated her like a child. My fault. That same night, she semi apologized and I told her that she should keep in mind that I love her and am with her because I choose to, not because I need to. I could instantly feel the shift of “power”. I guess she knows now that I can leave at any time. I took back my agency and you should too.
LOL. You are NOT the problem. The only reason he thought social media would be a problem is because you’d be upset if you knew what he was doing on social media. You can do so much better than this. Go find someone trustworthy!
She cheated, got impregnated by some other guy, i would say that is enough to warrant you leaving her, blocking her on everything and just basically cutting her off from your life like she hasn't even existed. Think about it, she betrayed you, what reason could you possibly have to stay? Your parent don't have any right to make you raise another man's child, though i imagine that topic is pretty complicated. I would say drop the girl either way, and try to reason with your parents, as terrible as it is that you lost your girlfriend, losing your family is even worse. And most importantly, take care of yourself, take time and self reflect.
I’m sorry, but there’s probably no road back from this. The hope for the marriage would require 100% closing the relationship and him going no contact with the friend group. From what you have shared he will not do this. If anything he’ll say just enough, temporarily do just enough, to keep you on the hook so he has everything he wants. If I were you I don’t think I’d give him that chance anymore. The night he was empathizing with his “friend” for how much she is suffering while describing your situation exactly shows you how far he has checked out. He doesn’t even see you anymore, but doesn’t want to lose the illusion of his family. Get out and go now.
You shouldn’t propose period. Why do you think marriage is going to solve all the problems in your post history? Your relationship just isn’t healthy. Sell the ring and get therapy instead.
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She definitely doing something suspicious and bad enough that she doesnt want to let you know imo…whether its shes cheating with her ex, selling lewds, escorting…is that the only suspicious money transaction that you noticed? Ask her what fun her ex mentioned.
How is mom benefitting at all?
Is anything better for her?
Do you do anything to help her move forward?
Or are you just happy benefitting from dad having a new life?
If that's the case then why stay, you're unhappy and he doesn't even seem to care if you're happy or not, it's all about him it seems, I'd do whatever it takes to make yourself happy because you only live! once and honestly life really IS too short.
Constantly having to deal with someone’s insecurity is exhausting and unsustainable. No one can heal your insecurities but you, preferably with a therapist. Also why does he have to explain to you what he’s doing on his own computer?
This person obviously isn't in a good headspace for a relationship. She's getting the professional help she needs now. Let this one go. Seeing you would probably be a reminder of what she nearly did to herself.
stop contacting exes
I'm glad you're privy into my life and my mind so much. Maybe buy a lottery ticket since you're a psychic?
At work!!!!????. . . .I am sorry sweetie but yes, this is a parade of red flags for me. Take some time to think about what you want for yourself and qualities you are looking for in a partner. It sounds like your current partner needs help.
Your body is going through a bunch of shit whether your mind likes it or not. Your first responsibility is to YOURSELF.
What makes you happy? Do that.
Listen, I’m fundamentally against snooping. But what’s done is done. You did it. You found tangible evidence of a legitimate problem.
So yes, tell her. Might she respond that you’re in the wrong for snooping? Likely. But does you being wrong change reality?
Apologize for teasing her because it’s the right thing to do then break up with her because this is beyond childish
Yes, it's okay to want a relationship but it really doesn't sound like you are able to handle rejection all that well if you immedietly spiral into “what if he thinks I'm a loser”.
I wanted to say this term but wondering if it would hurt her. Mommy come bangmaid to be specific ?
This is why I don’t like it when relationships progress too fast. It’s too much to be texting every day and seeing one another a lot when you’ve really only known someone for 2 weeks. I assume that people are dating others until I know them well enough to bring up exclusivity and I like to let things move a bit slower. It’s super weird that he told you about this other date, though. He’s definitely playing games and you should run away
Would it be feasible for you to take a week long trip trip/vacation? Your wife would have to take care of things for a wwek alone, but you clearly need it, and she can have only herself to blame.
I think that sacrificing a friend just because she won't pursue a romantic relationship with you is stupid. Your ego and sense of entitlement is sad.
“I was just joking about him needing to hurry up and marry me”
Lol.
She stopped evolving and will hold you back in life until you leave. Sometimes they make an effort to change if they see that you are actually willing to leave but you will never know until you try. For me this started with sleeping on the couch no matter how persuasive they are I would say “ I just can’t share a bed with someone who cares that little about my well being.” Then it would be sleeping at a girl friends house.
what you think of the relationship does not matter
Thanks this is what I need to hear
Tell him “thanks. You listened to me and you finally decided to take the trash out!!!”
Sometimes problems sort themselves out.
I know it's mid heart break but I think you'll see in the near future that he gave you the best thing he could give. Freedom from his toxicity.
It took me years to get over my last few relationships but I've been better after. You will be too.
Good luck
Leave. There is no trust because he is untrustworthy. You got with a cheater and now you wonder why he lies, hides things, gets defensive. It's because his nature is to cheat and deceive. Leave