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I think maybe you ought to consider exactly why it is you don’t want to be married.
I get that you’re young and a lifetime commitment does seem pretty daunting at that age, seeing as you’ll potentially have another 50 years together, but seeing as you seem pretty committed as it is, then that shouldn’t be a problem for you.
I also get that it seems to be expected of you, and maybe you’re digging your heels in. I had a partner like that – she was an Irish catholic and she became pregnant. Her family were very much for us to be married, and we were a couple of years younger than you are right now, and to be fair I did ask her. But she refused to do what her family wanted, and so we never married, tho we were together for almost 25 years. Maybe you don’t want to be seen to conform, and that’s your issue. If that’s the case then remember you’re not doing it to please anyone other than yourselves. Marriage isn’t such a big issue these days – you haven’t mentioned your heritage but I’m guessing that you’re European by descent, and here in the UK rates of marriage have dropped by a pretty large amount over the past 25 years.
For what it’s worth, I was in a similar position to you after we split. I ended up with someone else, and after about 6 years together I thought about why I shouldn’t marry her, and I really couldn’t think of any reason. We were both a lot older by this point (early 50’s) and my partner had never had a long-term relationship, or anything longer than 3 years. I thought about how happy it would make her, and thus me as well, so I proposed to her. She was so happy, it was almost worth it for that single moment alone.
So yes, I get that there may well be reasons for your decision, but but I that if you’re honest with yourself and go over those reasons with a clear head and an open mind, then maybe you’ll either be able to change your position, or if not, then you’ll be clearer in your mind exactly as to why you don’t want to marry her, and then you’ll be in a better position to be able to explain this to your partner and your families.
Good luck!
We are planning to go to Vietnam. I’m from Hong Kong. Well, when are planning this trip it was a little bit of confusion for me in a way that he will keep on changing the plans and he said that he need to call up the airlines so many times to book a flight ticket. He is from US and he said that it’s hot to travel anywhere in Asia. Some places such as Hong Kong are not recognized as a destination he said.
He is your EX fuck his feelings, think about your BFs feelings. Block him he is an EX for a reason.
How would you like your BF to talk to his EX who DMs him out of the blue.
As a guy 99.999999% the only reason he is reaching out is to try and lay some pipe.
Why do people even entertain EXs? Seriously!
UpdateMe!
Your point is garbage and wrong. So there's that.
Nope I would say its not worth saving, For many reasons, he down played the relationship you was having oh but we wasn't that serious, but still didn't tell you?? Another reason the lying and the making you feel crazy, oh your going to leave off of suspension. And the making someone else lie to you for him, which no effects you relationship with said friend.
It had nothing to do with not losing you and everything to do with having the upper hand.
I don't think this relationship is worth saving and he isn't worth your important years, your still young can go meet someone amazing and better.
The relationship was over the second he lied and gaslight you and went as far as to manipulate someone else to lie for him.
Which makes me wonder what else he would go to such lengths to hide.
And this is not a thing men do. Not at all I've been with my partner for 17 years, and he said he'd never do that??‍♀️
And sure as hell wouldn't lie when asked
One message, and one only:
“Get yourself a bathroom conduct for your next girlfriend. I have no need for a man who gets me embarassed over natural body procedures, laughs at me with the bullies and then tries to gaslight me into believing that I am in the wrong.
Actions have consequences, dear.”
I agree with you that the friend brings more trouble than good. She might/might not be into me. Nothing like this has ever been communicated.
In hindsight, I should have probably seen the signs and cut her off but I didn’t since I liked her platonically (something quite hot for opposite sexes to do).
What this has taught me is that cross-sex platonic friendships are almost always unsustainable.