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  1. Neither of them are perfect but your dad is trying to humiliate your husband. And you’re letting him do it.

    You have your own family now. Kids and a husband. Make your own traditions.

    Right now you’re doing nothing but showing your husband that your parents can treat your family any way they want and you’ll come running, grandchildren in hand.

    Have your own dinners. Invite them over. If they won’t come so be it. But stop supporting your parents over your own family. That’s a bad look and a terrible example to set for children.

  2. He had one year to tell you and just told you in the very last moment when you already planned to meet and you also planned activities.

    I would rethink all the time you talked about your day and what you did, doesn't he needed to lie to you at some point? Please, you must also think about all the talk about the future, or what he likes to do… It often isn't that he hide such a big think, but this also needs so many lies to keep up with the lie.

    Don't meet him now. He can't guilt-trip you with that he will lose money if he cancel everything now because it is his own fault for hiding it to you. You need to think very hot about what it means to be with someone not even in a wheelchair but paralyzed.

    And… you say that you love him, but like you realizes, you don't really know this person. In a long distance relationship you often fantasize about the other person like how it will be if you meet, how he willl treat you and somehow this will often affect your feelings. It is also often easier to be the great person since you don't spend whole days with each other and see the real person in their daily life. It is easier to behave on the best or even on the fakest.

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  4. He’s acting like nothing is wrong because that’s easier than truly admitting to himself what he’s done, so he’s projecting this ‘everything’s working out fine’ attitude to back-up his ‘my wife mistreats me and pushed me away’ mentality and thus relieve his guilt. It’ll all coming burning down eventually.

  5. we don’t use the funds for anything marriage related

    So if you use $1 for anything marriage related then it's all game? Like dad wants to give you guys a honeymoon and funds it out of the account. Or a downpayment for a house. Or kid's school tuition.

    Odds are at some point some of that money will be used for something marriage related.

  6. Sorry. I don’t want to stay with her. My goal is to just make sure she’s not left to deal with the burden alone. We aren’t on bad terms. Unless maybe this is too kind of me.

  7. He's abusive. You to get your affairs in order. Are there any friends you can stay with? Contact an attorney.


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