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I 22(M) spoke to my ex girlfriend 20 (F) last week for the first time in about six months. We ended things on pretty good terms mutually for unrelated reasons.
We spoke about the night of my 21st birthday in which we engaged in what I believed at the time was consensual sex. She told me she believes it was rape. And I asked her to run through the events leading up to it and how it went down as my memory of events that long ago are very hazy at best.
I was told on the night “I’m uncomfortable, there are people downstairs” which granted seems objectively clear that it is a withdrawing of consent. Although it was a regular occurance for one of us to worry about people downstairs hearing us and to vocalise these worries but a majority of the time we would end up with us having sex anyway. I think I was thinking she wants to have sex she just doesn’t want people to hear us.
I would obviously have stopped if I knew it wasn’t consensual. I have some frustration that it wasn’t made clearer to me at the time but at the same time I don’t ever want a situation like this to happen ever again so if I only look at this situation from the vein of she could have made it clearer then I’m not accepting that I could have avoided this if I had checked in with her or just not made assumptions in the moment.
I don’t know what to do or think. I want to ask her to meet and apologise but would that really even be beneficial to her or is it just bringing up painful memories so I can lessen my guilt.
Thank you. You're right, I need to stand up for myself.
Just stick with indica then. Indica is the sleepytime chill strain. Sativa is the day time perk you up strain! A lot of people can experience anxiety and paranoia with sativa.
Don't let one bad trip stop you! Drugs are wonderful. Whenever you are going down a bad place you just gotta say STOP. Change activities, topics, whatever. Find something happy and positive to focus on instead. My experience is Marijuana shouldn't really send you into bad trips. LSD and mushrooms are the ones where you really need to keep a positive mindset.
How are you 30 something and didn't already come up with that on your own?
I swear the double Standart in this thread. I agree with you.
Man let me tell you something. There’s a reason they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. My dad cheated on my mom and they got back together about 6 months later. Ever since they got back together she has treated him like absolute dog shit and I can’t really blame her, he deserves it. Basically women never forget a betrayal like that, no matter what they say they will never forgive you for it. That’s why imo you should never get back with someone you cheated on because they will make your life hell.
He’s not required to answer and since they’re broken up also not required to maintain contact. Not everyone wants everyone else peeking into their personal life, so he rescinded access.
Yes things are a little toxic, it’s you.